Nine on the Tenth -- Paradigm Shifts

All this week, I've been sitting in school workshops.  The last two days have been a presentation of the "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" and one of the big topics has been paradigm shifts.  As part of his introduction, the presenter posed a question to the group, "What is something that has happened in your life that led to a paradigm shift?"  A few people shared stories of events in their lives that had led to significant change.  I didn't volunteer to share, but if I had, I would have said, "When my teenage daughter was diagnosed with cancer." 

There's nothing like suffering and loss to change your paradigms.  There are definitely some military families who've had their paradigms shifted this week.

In Randy Alcorn's book, "If God Is Good", he shares nine paradigm-shifting insights that he learned through studying the book of Job.  If I wasn't so drained from sitting in workshops all day every day this week, I might be able to come up with one more on my own, thus making today a true Ten on the Tenth.  But I just don't think that's going to happen tonight.  So, without further ado, here are...

Nine Lessons To Be Learned from Job (from Randy Alcorn)

1.  Life is not predictable or formulaic.

2.  Most of life's expectations and suffering's explanations are simplistic and naive, waiting to be toppled.

3.  When the day of crisis comes, we should pour out our hearts to God, who can handle our grief and even our anger.

4.  We should not turn from God and internalize our anger, allowing it to become bitterness.

5.  We should weigh and measure the words of friends, authors, teachers, and counselors, finding whatever truth they might speak without embracing their errors or getting derailed by their insensitivities. 

6.  We should not insist on taking control by demanding a rational explanation for the evils and suffering that befall us.

7.  We should look to God and ask him to reveal himself to us; in contemplating his greatness we will come to see him as the Answer above all answers.

8.  We should trust that God is working behind the scenes and that our suffering has hidden purposes that one day, even if not in this life, we will see.

9.  We should cry out to Jesus, the mediator and friend whom Job could only glimpse, but who indwells us by grace.

Hmmmmm....Good stuff, huh?

Tell About It Tuesday -- True American Heroes

Yesterday I shared a little bit about Navy SEAL Adam Brown and his family.  If you'd like to learn more about Adam's amazing story, you view a documentary about his life at this website.  Once the site has loaded, click on "Patriot Profiles" in the left hand column.  From there, click on Adam's name.  Click on "View Full Story", and three videos will pop up.  The first is just a trailer of the video.  The Tribute to Adam Brown is actually in two parts, and each part takes about 12 minutes to watch.  Believe me, it will be 24 minutes well spent.  Have a box of Kleenex nearby...you'll need it.

When you watch that video, you'll see that a group of Adam's Navy SEAL teammates who came for his funeral jumped off a bridge in Hot Springs in tribute to Adam's adventurous spirit.  Here are a couple of pictures from that day. 

Every one of these young men lost their lives in the helicopter crash this weekend.

There are no words to express the magnitude of this loss for their families.  Please pray for Adam's parents, his brother, his twin sister, and his wife as they travel to Virginia this week.  God has uniquely equipped them to provide comfort and support, and they are going in obedience to Him.  I know they will appreciate your heartfelt prayers.
 
[8/15/11 -- Correction...Since I wrote this post, I found out that two of these young men were not on that Chinook helicopter.  However, all of the others were killed in the crash.]

Monday Mourning -- Navy SEALs

I was deeply saddened this weekend to hear of the tragic deaths of a large number of military personnel in Afganistan, many of whom were Navy SEALs. 

As I've shared before, until my daughter was diagnosed with cancer, I honestly never really thought much about cancer.  Sure, I thought it was a sad thing when someone died from cancer, particularly a child, but because it didn't directly impact my life, it didn't take me long to forget about it and move on.  Not anymore.

In the same way, when I heard about a military death, I would feel sad for the family, and maybe have a little patriotic thrill in my heart, but honestly, that was about it.  Again, it didn't directly impact my life, and I didn't personally know any military families who had lost a loved one.

And then I met the family of Navy SEAL Adam Brown, who was killed in action in Afghanistan last year.  Adam's parents have become some of our closest friends, and Adam's widow has befriended Bethany.  We partner together with the Browns in hosting the "While We're Waiting" events and have heard them share their story of the men in dress blues coming to their door early on a March morning in 2010 several times.  The pain in their voices as they share this experience is absolutely heartrending.  Observing their overwhelming grief, even as they seek to guide their daughter-in-law and grandchildren through the grief experience, has been eye-opening.  And seeing their deep faith in God as they proudly fly their American flag in Adam's memory has been humbling. 

The men who were killed this weekend were part of SEAL Team Six, which was Adam's unit.  They were Adam's teammates and friends.  And at least one of them is now in Heaven as a direct result of Adam's Christian witness.  Adam's family knew many of these young men and their families, and will now have the opportunity to put 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 into practice.  It won't be easy...in fact, I'm sure it will be extremely difficult, as they re-live very painful memories, but I believe that God will give them the grace that they need.

Please remember all of these families in your prayers, as well as the thousands of other military families who have either lost loved ones or who live in fear of losing their loved ones.  I honestly had no idea the depth of sacrifice that these families endure ... all for our freedom.  May our nation be worthy of their sacrifice.

Thoughtful Thursday -- Two Thought-Provoking Quotes

Two quotes from Randy Alcorn's book "If God Is Good" that really made me think this week....

"E. Stanley Jones wrote, 'Don't bear trouble, use it.  Take whatever happens -- justice and injustice, pleasure and pain, compliment and criticism -- take it up into the purpose of your life and make something out of it.  Turn it into testimony.'"

In other words, don't waste your storm.  I've said it before...I believe our greatest sorrows will result in our greatest ministry.  That is, if we allow God to use us.

And here's the second quote:

"Joni Eareckson Tada spoke of a woman, pregnant with a disabled child, who cried out in desparation to her husband, 'Things will never be the same.'  His response?  'Maybe God doesn't want them to be the same.'"

Whoa.  That one stopped me in my tracks.  That has been so, so true in our experience over the last three years.  I am a completely changed person from what I once was...I'm really not sure if there is any part of me that is the same.  And maybe that is just a part of what God wanted through all of this.  Really something to think about as we face the trials of life....

Tell About It Tuesday -- "50 Days of Heaven"

When it became pretty clear that, unless God intervened in a miraculous way, Hannah would be going to Heaven soon, I began reading the book "Heaven" by Randy Alcorn.  It's a great book, with an incredible amount of well-documented research behind it, but it is a huge book and very, very deep.  I got nearly half way through it, and finally just had to give up.  With all the emotion and grief of that time, I just couldn't sustain my focus.

Shortly after Hannah went to Heaven, this little book, "50 Days of Heaven" fell into my hands.  I say it fell into my hands because I honestly don't remember how it got there.  I don't remember if I bought it, or if someone gave it to me (if you gave it to me, I apologize, and Thank You!).  Grief can do some really strange things to your mind and your memories.

Anyway, this is an absolutely awesome little book.  We give it out to people we know who have lost loved ones, and we keep a large supply of them in our Anchor of Hope cabinet at church to pass along to those who have lost family members to cancer.  It takes the content of "Heaven" and breaks it up into fifty daily bite-sized readings.  Each chapter includes a Scripture, a quote from a well-known Christian, a lesson about Heaven, a thought-provoking question, and a prayer.  It is perfect for someone who is in the depths of grief, who can't sustain attention to read longer than about five minutes, and who may not even be able to find the words to pray. 

Randy Alcorn also has a book titled "Heaven for Kids", which is a great read for children who are grappling with the concept of Heaven following the death of a loved one.  Bethany and all of her cousins read it after Hannah's death, and I think it was a great help to them as they tried to understand where their sister/cousin was now living. 

Actually, if you see any book by Randy Alcorn -- fiction or nonfiction -- read it!  I guarantee, it will be good!!

Monday Mourning -- Giving Thanks

"You turned my wailing into dancing, you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.  O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever."  Psalm 30: 11-12

I ran across this verse this morning as I was reading "If God is Good" by Randy Alcorn.  It caught my eye first because it had the word "joy" in it, and if you've followed this blog for any length of time at all, you know that's my word.

We have re-decorated what was Hannah's bedroom with the word "joy"...as I sit here typing, I am surrounded by probably 40 or 50 different items that say "JOY" in some form or fashion.  But, as I've shared with you before, I don't always feel the joy.  I've still been keeping up with my Joy List, and one of these days, I will catch you up on that.  But even as I continue to add to the 1,000 Things That Bring Me Joy, I don't always find myself "clothed with joy." 

Maybe the secret to being clothed with joy is the final sentence of that passage.  "O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever."  I believe that there is joy to be found in giving thanks.  But there's also the rub.

I give thanks for the opportunity to be Hannah's mother.

I give thanks for every minute of the 17 years I had with her.

I give thanks for the family, friends, and even strangers who have prayed us through the past 2 1/2 years.

I give thanks for the peace God has given our family, no matter what the circumstances.

I give thanks that Hannah is eternally healed and is herself in a place of unimaginable joy.

I give thanks for the eternal perspective and understanding of God's sovereignty we have gained through our experiences.

But I find myself unable to give thanks that Hannah is not here, in her bedroom, where she should be.  I'm unable to give thanks that she is not preparing for her sophomore year in college.  I'm unable to give thanks that Bethany has no sister to share secrets with.  Am I supposed to give thanks for those things?

I don't really think God expects us to be filled with gratitude for the things that are so painful in this life.  But I do think He wants us to accept them...and in acceptance, there is peace...then thankfulness...and ultimately joy.  Do you remember when Job asked his wife, "Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?" (Job 2:10) 

So, even though I may not have fully arrived in the thankfulness department, He is gently leading me toward that acceptance so that one day, I will truly be clothed with real joy.

Thoughtful Thursday -- When I Get To Heaven

I have to be honest...Before Hannah became a resident there, I really didn't think much about Heaven.  Sure, I wanted to go there someday, but I didn't really know anybody there, other than my grandparents, and, of course, Jesus.  And I looked forward to that day (distant, though it seemed, which was fine with me) because I knew it would be amazing to see Him..."I Can Only Imagine" and all that. 

Well, now that Hannah is there, my feelings have changed greatly.  I look forward every day to the moment I arrive there.  I must admit, though, I am a little conflicted about something. 

Would you think less of me if I told you that if Jesus is the first person I meet when I arrive, while He's hugging me, I'm going to be on my tiptoes peering over his shoulder looking for Hannah?  It's just the truth.

Brad read a book last week on the beach in which a father said he hoped that his child was sitting on Jesus's lap when he got to Heaven, so he could see both of them at the same time.  That would be pretty cool.

But Hannah was seventeen when she died, and I just can't really picture her sitting on Jesus's lap. 

And that's not really how I think it's going to be when I arrive in Heaven anyway.  Here's how I picture it.  I have no theological basis for this whatsoever...these are just my thoughts.

If I were to go there today, I think that Hannah would be the first person I would see.  As a matter of fact, for some reason, in my mind, I picture her grasping both of my hands and pulling me into Heaven from wherever I am.  We would fall into each other's arms and laugh and cry and hold each other for a long, long time.  When we had gotten our fill (it might take awhile), she would take me by the hand and together, we would greet all of our family members who were there....grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great-great-great-etc. grandparents, and so on. 

All of this would take place at a very leisurely pace...no need to hurry like we do every day in this life...we have all the time we could ever possibly need.

After visiting with all the family, next I would want to meet the children of all the bereaved parents we've talked to over the last few years.  Most of them I never got to meet on earth, but their parents have become so precious to me, and their stories have been so amazing, I've just got to meet them.  And since I have this idea in my head that everytime we meet a bereaved parent here on earth, Hannah meets their child(ren) in Heaven, she'll be able to introduce me to all of them. 

After visiting with all of these amazing people, I would want to meet the Old Testament patriarchs...Abraham, Jacob, Isaac, Moses, Noah, David, Solomon, etc.  Can you imagine?  And then the folks from the New Testament...Mary and Joseph, Anna, Simeon, the woman at the well, Lazarus, Mary & Martha, the disciples, Paul, Silas, Timothy...the list could go on and on!  What a thought!

And by this time...by this time...at the point where my heart is about to burst with joy and gratitude and awe and wonder...my only desire would be to meet the One, the One who made all of this possible through His sacrifice.  And my daughter, my daughter who is now so far superior to me in wisdom and grace, will ask me, "Are you ready?"  I will be speechless, only able to nod my head in affirmation.  And, still leading me by the hand, with the familiar ease of introducing me to a good friend, she will bring me to the throne of glory.  And I will tremble uncontrollably, fall to my knees, worship the One who died for me, and then finally, finally my joy will be complete.  Oh, glorious day!

Wacky Wednesday -- "How 'Bout Cupcake?"

I just had to share this video that Bethany and I saw on America's Funniest Home Videos the other night. As a sweets fanatic myself, this is a child after my own heart!   Hope this video makes you smile, too!



P.S.  If you receive blog updates by email, you may need to link directly to my blog itself to view the video. 

Tell About It Tuesday -- "Flywheel"

Several months ago, I was at the checkout counter at our local Christian bookstore, perusing their $5.00 deals, when this video caught my eye.

I knew that this movie was made by the same folks who did "Facing the Giants" and "Fireproof", and I figured it would probably be worth five bucks.  Hannah loved the movie "Facing the Giants", and someday I will write more about that.  But I brought "Flywheel" home, put it in the TV cabinet, and promptly forgot all about it.

The other day, I was digging through there looking for something else, and I ran across it, still unopened.  I decided that the next time we had a free evening, we would watch it.  Well, tonight, Brad and I had an evening at home all by ourselves, and I pulled it out and popped it in the DVD player. 

To be honest, I wasn't really expecting much.  I remember the first time I saw "Facing the Giants", and it took me a little while to get past the rather stilted acting and predictable dialogue before I became completely absorbed in the story.  I thought "Fireproof" was better as far as the acting and its overall quality.  Knowing that "Flywheel" was the first attempt by Sherwood Pictures, I had prepared myself for a somewhat cheesy, predictable story with inexperienced actors.

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised!  No, the production quality and the acting were not exactly up to Hollywood standards...but that was actually kind of refreshing.  The story line was engaging, and contained enough twists and turns to keep me guessing about how things were going to work out.  I guess I've become kind of a sap over the past few years, but several scenes moved me to tears.  It was a beautiful story about salvation, redemption, restoration, and faith, and it was a great reminder of how important it is to trust God, even when it feels like everything is flying out of control. 

"Flywheel"...Definitely a good way to spend an evening with the family!

Monday Mourning -- Heavenly Wisdom

Will you indulge me for a few minutes of shameless boasting?  Thank you.

Hannah was a very intelligent young lady.  She was a straight-A student all through school, even in the second semester of her sophomore year, when she underwent brain surgery and radiation therapy.  She won nearly every academic award given during her freshman and sophomore years, including overall "outstanding student" both years.  Her biggest concern when she was in the hospital prior to her surgery was getting behind in her schoolwork and losing her opportunity to be the valedictorian.  She was an extremely competitive student (to a fault), and always went above and beyond what was required of her in class. 

Her junior year was off to a great start, when her cancer returned in late September.  She had to drop out of school for a few months to do another round of extensive radiation and to start a new kind of chemotherapy.  By mid-December, she was well enough to return to school for a few days before Christmas break.  On her first day back to school, she walked into her World History class, only to find out that they were taking a test that day.  The teacher gave them a few minutes to look over their notes before taking the test.  Of course, she could have been exempt from taking the test since she had not been present for any of the material, but she chose to look over a friend's notes and take it.  She got a 100%...after only a few minutes of studying completely unfamiliar material.

Right after Christmas break, Hannah's health began to deteriorate rapidly, and she never did return to school.  It wasn't long before the cancer attacking her brain brought her to a state of almost child-like simplicity.  It was a heartbreaking thing to watch, and to be perfectly honest, it just felt so unfair.

And then Hannah went to Heaven.  And I believe that as soon as she entered her new home, her intelligence was not only restored, it was transformed into wisdom.  A wisdom beyond anything I can even imagine.  And I believe that the longer she is in Heaven, the more wisdom she gains. 

Now, when I feel sad about all that she had to suffer through, the indignities she had to endure, the losses she had to experience ... I picture her, surrounded by the splendor of Heaven, saying, "C'mon, Mom.  It's fine.  All that stuff you're thinking about -- that was just a second, just the blink of an eye -- it was nothing!  None of that matters now.  I'm better than I've ever been.  Just wait 'til you get here...you'll see!" 

And won't it be awesome when I do get there, and I'm able to sit beside her and learn from her what she's been taught by the Master Himself!   After I've spent the first thousand years or so just hugging her neck, that is!  What an amazing experience that will be....

Thoughtful Thursday -- Seaweed

We have been on vacation this week, thus the lack of posts since last Thursday.  We arrived at Panama City Beach, Florida, last Saturday, and will be enjoying our last day at the beach tomorrow. 

We have really enjoyed the opportunity to get away.  The condo where we are staying is lovely, the weather has been perfect, and the sunsets have been spectacular...

The only down side of the week has been the "June Grass"...thick, slimy seaweed that, according to the locals, usually only shows up in June.  This year, it has made its appearance in the middle of July.  Here's the view off our 18th floor balcony on the day we arrived...

And here's the view a couple of days ago, on a particularly still morning...

You can see that the water is actually very beautiful, and is a lovely aquamarine color when the sun shines on it, but that seaweed has just not given us a break.

We've still had a lot of fun....shopping, eating, walking out on the pier,

and Bethany and her friend even went parasailing...

We even took the obligatory family photo on the beach (although we didn't really coordinate our wardrobe very well)...

So what have I been thoughtful about this week?  Well, I've thought a lot about Hannah, and how it still just doesn't feel right to take a family vacation without her.  I've thought about Heaven, as I've looked at the beauty of God's creation all around me.  I've thought about the future, as Bethany will be starting her junior year in just a few weeks.

And I've thought about the seaweed.  Hannah would have hated the seaweed.  It really hasn't bothered us much....we've gone right into the water just as if it wasn't there.  The other thing she wouldn't have liked are all the schools of little fish we've been seeing (in the clear spots between the seaweed).  She had kind of a funny fear of fish swimming around her like that...and I'm really not sure she would even have gone into the water with all that seaweed...not being able to see what was around her feet and legs.

Hannah actually had a lot of little fears.  Before she was diagnosed with cancer, that is.  After her diagnosis, it seemed as though she was never afraid of anything again.  She faced brain sugery, radiation, chemotherapy, going bald, countless MRIs, and more...all without fear.  One time, when they were lying in bed together at night, Bethany asked Hannah if she was scared that she might die from her cancer.  "No," she replied, with disdain in her voice, as if she couldn't believe Bethany even asked her that question. 

How did she do that?  How did she go from being a world-class worrier to a fearless warrior?  The only answer is her faith in God.  Her belief that her storm was fully under His control removed all fear. 

I'm so thankful for the example my teenage daughter set for me.  And I'm so thankful that my God is powerful enough to change a worrier into a warrior.  If He could do it for her, He can do it for me, and you...and you....and you....and you....

Thoughtful Thursday -- A Challenge

Taken from Joni Eareckson Tada's book, "A Place of Healing:  Wrestling with the Mysteries of Suffering, Pain, and God's Sovereignty"...

"If you're facing what seems to be an overwhelming situation in your life this week, I want to encourage you to stand firm.  Don't let this thing fill up your whole horizon.  Don't let your anxieties swallow you up or drain your faith dry.  Rather, stand firm and take action.  Take it as an opportunity to do a little research of your own into God's Word.  Compare Bible verses with each other; investigate the examples of Paul or Joseph or Daniel or Peter and how they dealt with bad news and suffering in their lives.

What a waste of an illness or injury if we read--or go on talking--day and night about that illness, that injury, and not about the God who allowed it for His own sovereign reasons.

My friend Dave Powlison has some very good advice in that regard.

Dave is a professor at the Christian Counseling Education Foundation.  He's also fighting a war with a cancer that seeks to ravage his body.  Used to being a man on the go, Dave has been forced to slow down and learn some new lessons in patience as he walks through this unexpected season of life.  I've never had to face cancer myself  [Actually, Joni is now facing a battle with breast cancer], but as I've watched Dave, I have drawn so much encouragement, so much help and hope, just observing the way he approaches the challenges of this disease.

As you well know, cancer is such an alarming word; it immediately spreads fear and doubt.  Dave has gone through the usual chemotherapy routines--the waiting, the uncertainty, and the awful reaction to the drugs.  But I'm amazed at the way he has kept his emotional balance...and his courage.

In the face of all the fear, pain, and sickness, just listen to what Dave wrote to me not long ago:

'Joni, I have learned that for every one sentence you say to others about your cancer,

say ten sentences about your God, your hope, and what He is teaching you,

and the small blessings of each day. 

For every hour you spend researching or discussing your cancer,

spend ten hours researching and discussing and serving your Lord. 

Relate all that you are learning about cancer back to Him and His purposes,

and you won't become obsessed with fears and doubts.'

The truth is, in this world it's a 100 percent guarantee that we will suffer.  But at the same time, Jesus Christ is 100 percent certain to meet us, encourage us, comfort us, grace us with strength and perseverance, and yes, even restore joy in our lives.  Your Savior is 100 percent certain to be with you through every challenge.

The Bible tells us time and again that God is faithful, and greater is He who is in you than any ache or pain or even terminal illness.

Remember today, if you start talking about your health issues--or any problems, for that matter--be sure to talk also about the grace of our wonderful Lord to sustain and save!"

And this is the challenge that has me thinking on this "Thoughtful Thursday"!

Tell About It Tuesday -- World Magazine

I've been what I would describe as a compulsive reader for as long as I can remember.  You may recall that I don't actually remember learning how to read...one day, when I was about 3 1/2 years old, I just could.  And since that day, I've never stopped reading.

When I was a kid eating my breakfast cereal every morning, I would sit and read every word on the cereal box, even the ingredients.  (Remember when they used to have games on the back of the box?  And always a secret toy surprise inside, too.)  Riding down the highway, I would read every single billboard.  (At least I didn't read them all out loud, like my grandparents used to do.)  I even remember reading whole sections of our Funk and Wagnall's encylopedias when I didn't have anything new to read.  When I was in junior high, a teacher caught me with a paperback book tucked inside my textbook, and she was so angry she literally tore my book to shreds in front of the whole class.  Can you imagine...a teacher physically tearing up a book because a kid was reading too much?

When I was growing up, our bathroom at home was always well supplied with copies of the Reader's Digest.  I loved testing my vocabulary with the "Word Power" quizzes and chuckling at the "Laughter Is the Best Medicine" stories.  Every issue contained an article called "Drama in Real Life", in which someone would be trapped in a blizzard on top of Mount Everest or be attacked by a mama grizzly bear protecting her cubs, or some such misadventure.  That was always the article I turned to first.  The Reader's Digest sure helped pass the time in the bathroom.

So in an effort to keep up the family tradition of having quality literature available in the bathroom at all times, I've been a subscriber to World Magazine for a number of years. 

What is World Magazine?  Think Newsweek or Time, but written from a Christian worldview.  The editor-in-chief is Marvin Olasky, once a self-professed atheist who embraced Communism, and now an evangelical Christian who embraces conservatism.  It not only contains well-written articles on politics and current news events, it includes book, music, and movie reviews, op-ed pieces, interviews with newsmakers (both Christian and non-Christian), and human interest stories ... all written from a Christian perspective.  Sports, business, education, health, national and international news...they are all covered.

It is published every two weeks, and each year they publish a special "Books" issue (my favorite), as well as featuring an annual "Daniel of the Year"...a person or persons who have taken a strong stand for Christ, in spite of persection or oppression.  They also highlight various compassionate conservative projects taking place around the nation, which are always interesting to read about.

The writers of World Magazine are unabashedly pro-life, pro-traditional marriage, and pro-compassionate conservatism, all the while acknowledging that we live in a fallen world where lost people are going to behave as lost people. 

As Christians, I think we have a responsibility to be aware of what is going on around the world, as well as in our own American backyards.  We should thoughtfully and prayerfully elect people to office who share our world view, and hold them accountable at the ballot box if they do not conduct themselves in an ethical and moral manner.  We should be knowledgeable about the culture in which we live, being in the world, but not of the world. 

So, if you would like to keep up with what's going on in the world, and would enjoy having your news written from a Christian perspective (and you're seeking some high quality bathroom reading material), I highly recommend World Magazine. 

Monday Mourning -- Missing The Future

When an older loved one dies, like a grandparent, you miss that person, and you miss the life you had with that person. 

But when your child dies (or a young spouse, I would imagine) you not only miss the life you had with that person ... you miss the future that you would have had with that person.

Does that make sense ... that you can "miss the future"?

This past Saturday evening, we attended the wedding of a co-worker's daughter.  The wedding was a beautiful affair, complete with a glowing bride and beaming groom, numerous smiling attendants, proud parents and grandparents, and a lavishly appointed reception.

And as I sat and watched the nuptials unfold, all I could think about was how much I missed the future.

-- I missed the son-in-law whom I will never meet.

-- I missed going wedding dress shopping and finding that "perfect" dress.

-- I missed all the wedding preparations ... showers, invitations, music, flowers, cakes, etc.

-- I missed hearing Brad say, "Her mother and I", in response to the pastor's question.

-- I missed "You may kiss the bride."

-- I missed the cutting of the cake.

-- I missed the leaving for the honeymoon.

-- I missed the grandchildren who will never be born.

And I ached for Brad, who will never walk Hannah down the aisle, and for Bethany, who will not have a sister to stand beside her as her maid of honor.

Ahhhh, but thank God there is another wedding to come in the future.  And I'm not talking about Bethany's, as much as I'm looking forward to that someday (but not anytime soon!). 

I'm talking about a ceremony much more elaborate and awe-inspiring than any earthly wedding.  Here is what the Word of God says about that wedding...

"Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting:  'Hallelujah!  For our Lord God Almighty reigns.  Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory!  For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.  Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.'...Then the angel said to me, 'Write this:  Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!'  And he added, 'These are the true words of God.'"  Revelation 19: 6-9 NIV

Even so, come, Lord Jesus.

Ten on the Tenth -- Favorite Children's Books

My favorite quote from the movie "You've Got Mail" is when Kathleen, the heroine, says this..."When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your whole life does."  Don't you love that?  If you were a reader as a child, I know that quote rings true with you.

So, in honor of summer reading season, here are the ten books that "became a part of my identity" as a child...

1.  "The Complete Tales of Winnie the Pooh" by A. A. Milne.  The illustrations, of course, are beautiful, but my favorite thing about the Winnie the Pooh stories was the way the author used the text on the page to illustrate the blustery days and the floody woods.  I absolutely love these stories. 

2.  "The Wizard of Oz" by L. Frank Baum.  Of course, I loved the movie (Who didn't?), but the book was soooo much better!  There's so much in the book that didn't make it into the movie....the Quadlings, the china princess, the Hammerheads, etc.  I also loved "The Patchwork Girl of Oz."

3.  "Misty of Chincoteague" by Marguerite Henry.  I loved books about horses, and this one was my favorite.  Stunning illustrations and a simply beautiful story.  Other books by Henry are good as well, including "Stormy, Misty's Foal" and "Brighty of the Grand Canyon."

4.  "Anne of Green Gables" by L. M. Montgomery.  A beautifully written story about Ann with an "e", a spirited red-headed girl adopted by an elderly brother and sister who intended to adopt a boy to help out on their farm.  As a shy, introverted child myself, I was absolutely enthralled by Anne's adventures.

5.  "The Hiding Place" by Corrie ten Boom.  I guess this is not typically a children's book, but I read it as a child and loved it.  Being of Dutch heritage myself, I was fascinated by the insight into the Dutch culture of that period in the early part of the book, and inspired by Corrie and Betsy's unwavering faith in spite of great suffering in the latter part. 

6.  "Bambi" by Felix Salten.  Yes, there really is such a book, and it predates the Disney movie version by nearly twenty years.  And as is usually true, it is sooooo much better than the movie version.  I loved it so much that I read it multiple times.  (That's actually true of every book on this list, but I think I read this book more times than any other.)  I remember checking it out of my elementary school library in Wisconsin over and over.  And then a couple of years ago, I ran across it at our school library ... in a stack of books about to be discarded!  I snatched it up and am thrilled that it is now part of my own personal library. 

7.  The "Little House" books by Laura Ingalls Wilder.  All of them.  I read them over and over.  I wanted to be Laura.  I also loved the TV series, but nothing could match the beauty and simplicity of the stories in these books. 

8.  "Black Beauty" by Anna Sewell.  I loved how this book was written from the perspective of the horse.  I remember being able to almost feel the bit in my mouth and the blinkers over my eyes as I read this one.

9.  "Charlotte's Web" by E. B. White.  What's not to love about Charlotte's Web?  Wilbur was truly some pig, Templeton was such a nasty beast, and Charlotte A. Cavitica was the perfect heroine.  And Fern...well, I wanted to be Fern, too.  After all, her pig's life is saved, and then she gets to ride on the ferris wheel with Henry Fussy.  What could be cooler than that?

10.  "The Lion, The Witch, & the Wardrobe" by C. S. Lewis.  I absolutely loved this book as a child, but I never could seem to get into the other books in the series ... until a couple of years ago, that is, when I read the entire series.  In fact, I believe I got far more out of the series as an adult than I would ever have gotten out of it as a child. 

How about you?  What are the books that became a part of you because you read them as a child?  I'd love to hear from you on this topic ... just leave a comment below.

Free-for-All Friday

A few random items on this Free-for-All Friday....

1.  Remember the little girl I posted about a few weeks ago?  Well, last week sweet little Glory girl got to come home from the hospital for the first time in her eleven months of life!  And I'm happy to report that she's doing well and enjoying spending time with her siblings and parents.  She still has a long road ahead of her, but this is a huge step in the right direction!  Please continue to keep her in your prayers...

2.  We now have brochures printed with all the information about the various "While We're Waiting" retreats for moms, dads, and couples.  If you would like for me to send you one (or more) to share with friends or family, please email me or leave a comment below with your address, and I'll be happy to put some in the mail to you!

3.  Bethany started back to basketball practice this week.  This may not seem like a big deal ... but this return to basketball comes after a fractured bone in her forearm, followed by a partial tear of the plantar fascia in her right foot, followed by a recent flare-up of mono.  So, to say I am thankful for something as seemingly minor as a return to basketball practice is an understatement.  She is doing well, and I am so proud of her for a multitude of reasons. 

4.  We are heading to northwest Arkansas this weekend to attend a wedding.  I have not been to a wedding since Hannah went to Heaven nearly 2 1/2 years ago.  Hmmmm....that could be the topic of my next "Monday Mourning post.

Thoughtful Thursday -- The Casey Anthony Case

Daniel 7: 9-10 -- "As I looked, thrones were placed, and the Ancient of Days took his seat; his clothing was white as snow, and the hair of his head like pure wool; his throne was fiery flames; its wheels were burning fire.  A stream of fire issued and came out from before him; a thousand thousands served him, and ten thousand times ten thousand stood before him; the court sat in judgment, and the books were opened."

I have no idea whether Casey Anthony took the life of her beautiful little girl or not.  I certainly have some opinions about the matter, based on the evidence presented.  And I can say with confidence that Casey Anthony's behavior is not typical of any bereaved mom I have ever met.  But I also can honestly say that I'm very glad I was not a member of that jury.

But whether or not this young mother bears any responsibility for her child's death, the fact remains that a two-year-old girl is dead, and it is questionable at this point whether justice will ever be served.

In this life, anyway.

I participated in the "Daniel" study by Beth Moore this past fall, and in one of the videos she said something that really struck me.  According to Beth (I like to pretend we're on a first-name basis), whenever the Bible refers to God as the "Ancient of Days" it is referring to Him as judge.  And she pointed out that as the Ancient of Days, He always has been and always will be. 

That means that He knows ... He knows about every injustice that has been committed since the beginning of creation.  And He knows who committed each one. 

So when we feel outraged at the injustices we see all around us ... we can rest in the knowledge that the Ancient of Days is on His throne.

And here's the best part.  We already know what's at the end of the Book!

Daniel 7: 13-14 -- "I saw in the night visions, and behold, with the clouds of heaven there came one like a son of man, and he came to the Ancient of Days and was presented before him.  And to him was given dominion and glory and a kingdom, that all peoples, nations, and languages should serve him; his dominion is an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and his kingdom one that shall not be destroyed."

P.S.  For an excellent summary of a Christian response to the Casey Anthony trial, click here.

Wacky Wednesday -- Dining Dogs

Sorry for the brief hiatus in posting (so much for my plan for daily posts this summer)!  We had a house full of company over the Fourth of July holiday.  My aunt and uncle from Indiana came for a visit and brought their beautiful boat...

So we've been spending the last several days hanging out with them and my parents, and doing all sorts of fun lake activities like this...

Anyway, things are settling down a little bit again around here...just in time for Wacky Wednesday!

A dear family friend, "Mema", sent me this video the other day, and I really got a kick out of it.  It's lots of fun to watch....Enjoy!

Thoughtful Thursday -- Definitions

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose."  Romans 8:28

Have you ever wondered if God has different definitions for words than we do?  I've come to believe that maybe His definition of "good" is different from mine.  For example, my "good" would never include cancer, car accidents, war, or natural disasters.  My "good" would consist of healing of all diseases, protection from all accidents or evil, seeing both of my children live long and healthy lives, and dying peacefully in my sleep at a ripe old age. 

But in God's dictionary, could it be that "good" means anything that brings us closer to Him ... whatever that may be? 

That's just what I've been thinking about this Thursday.

"...Yet in the maddening maze of things,

And tossed by storm and flood,

To one fixed trust my spirit clings;

I know that God is good!"

~John Greeleaf Whittier

Tell About It Tuesday -- The Vintage Pearl

What Mom doesn't love to see her child(ren)'s name(s) in print?  And how much sweeter is it when that name (or initial) is on a beautiful piece of jewelry?

That's what The Vintage Pearl specializes in.  I first heard about The Vintage Pearl through a friend's blog, and instantly knew I had to have some of their jewelry.  I went to their website and, of course, this was the first thing that caught my eye...

I ordered that for Bethany.  She loves it.  It's designed to look like an angel's wing, but she says it looks like half of a heart....the half of her heart that will always belong to her sister. 

And then I ordered this for myself, with both of my girls' names on it...

They don't just do full names -- they do some items with just initials, and some with birthstones...

...And some items that don't have names or initials at all.   Isn't this "peas in a pod" necklace just the cutest thing ever?

They also have beautiful rings and bracelets, and a variety of other items that you will just love.  Just check out their website to see it all!

When we first started discussing the idea of the While We're Waiting Mom's Day, we knew we wanted to give all of our ladies some sort of gift.  Naturally, I thought of The Vintage Pearl.  We all love to have things with our child's name or initials on it....but for a Mom who's lost a child, those kinds of things are even more precious.  And a necklace that keeps this remembrance of your child close to your heart...that's just extra special! 

The Vintage Pearl is a Christian-owned company, and they were so gracious in working with us...even allowing us to send in our order at basically the last minute, and still getting it to us in plenty of time for Saturday's event.  And when I received our order in the mail, I was absolutely tickled to see this...

Look how beautifully boxed these necklaces were, each with their own little ribbon and pearl accessory! 

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Vintage Pearl, for demonstrating the love of God to these women in such a thoughtful way!

Monday Mourning -- "While We're Waiting" Mom's Day

This past Saturday, my friend Janice and I hosted our first "While We're Waiting" Mom's Day.  This was a special day for moms who are waiting to be reunited with their children in Heaven.  Our desire was to provide these dear ladies with a day of relaxation, pampering, fellowship with other moms who understand, spiritual refreshment, and encouragement to live in a way that honors Christ and honors their child(ren) while they're waiting for that glorious day. 

I can't tell you what a blessing the day was ... not only for the ladies who attended, but for Janice and I! 

The Moms began arriving around 9:30, and we were all a little nervous.  Most of us had never met before, and here we were, coming together to talk about the most painful part of our lives!  But as we stepped out onto the deck and enjoyed the view, we began to relax and get to know each other.  Our original plan for the day had included a pontoon boat ride, but with the temperature predicted to soar into the upper 90's, we scrapped that idea.  It was a good thing, too, because our day ended up being very full, as it was.

We enjoyed a delicious breakfast of homemade muffins, cheese and spinach quiche, and chocolate-covered strawberries, and then gathered in the living room to begin sharing our children's stories.

The time seemed to fly by as we cried and laughed together, and before we knew it, it was time for our "high tea".  We feasted on a variety of yummy sandwiches, fruit salad, and had some delicious cake balls for dessert.  And, of course, we had flavored teas and coffees. 

We spent the afternoon discussing various topics that grieving moms deal with on a daily basis, ranging from dealing with the holidays, to how we feel about our child's gravesite, to how our husbands' grief differs from ours.  We acknowledged the fact that none of these are issues we can "fix", but that it's just helpful to discuss them with other Moms who understand our feelings and experiences. 

As we chatted about these issues, each Mom got to slip out to another room and have a private 20-minute massage from Kelly, a therapist with the Mobile Massage Company in Hot Springs.  It was fun to see each Mom come back into the living room like a wet noodle after her massage!

When it was time for dinner, we gathered in the dining room, where some wonderful friends had created a beautiful, welcoming table for us.
 

Then Chef Franklin patiently explained how we were to correctly use the multitude of silverware that appeared at each place setting.  He made learning proper table etiquette fun!  He then served us the most marveous 5-course meal you can imagine.  It felt like we were on the Food Network!  He and his daughter would serve each course, and then he would stand back and explain exactly what we were about to enjoy, just like they do on TV.  What a treat!

 

Our appetizer.  I sure wish I could remember what all Chef Franklin said that all this stuff was.  I do know that this had eggplant, tomato, mozzarella cheese, and radicchio (and some more things), all grilled.

 

Our salad was grilled romaine with a bleu cheese vinaigrette dressing, topped with chopped tomatoes, boiled eggs, and fried wontons.

The intermezzo (to cleanse our palates!) was to die for.  This was a three-berry sorbet (blackberry, blueberry, and raspberry) with fresh blueberries.

The entree was a chicken breast stuffed with spinach and boursin cheese, white-truffle infused potatoes, and fresh asparagus with a carrot ribbon.  It also had some kind of sauce, which I cannot begin to describe.  It was outstanding!

Finally, for dessert, we had a chocolate torte with a caramel filling and chocolate ganache frosting and Moon Pie ice cream, all sprinked with raspberry-infused sugar. 

Is your mouth watering yet?  I kept thinking I wasn't going to eat all of each course, because I wanted to "save room" for dessert.  Well, I cleaned my plate each time, and still managed to eat all of my dessert!

What an amazing day it was.  And not just because of the incredible food and beautiful setting...although that was really nice! 

What made the day so special was the opportunity to get together with a group of  Moms who share a common grief, yet also share an uncommon faith -- the belief that God wants to heal from our losses and be whole again.  Not to forget our pain...we will never forget it...but to grow through it, and to become the women that God intends for us to be while we're waiting to be reunited with our precious children one day. 

We plan to host a "While We're Waiting" Moms Day every few months, and our next one will be September 17, 2011.  We want to keep our gathering relatively small and intimate, so we will be limiting it to six Moms.  If you would like to register, please go to our website and fill out the on-line registration form.  It may fill up quickly, but if it's already full when you register, we will put you on the list for our next WWW Mom's day, which will probably be in January or February. 

For those of you who prayed for us as we planned and held this event, let me say "Thank you!"  The presence of the Lord was evident, and we could definitely feel your prayers lifting up our group! 

Heaven's Gain

Lauren Crook stepped into the arms of Jesus today after a long and brave battle with cancer.  Her life has been an inspiration to so many, and she is now eternally healed.  Please keep her family in your prayers as they face some very difficult days ahead.

Thoughtful Thursday -- More Thoughts About Healing

I have to admit that "healing" is a bit of a sensitive topic for me.  I sometimes have a hard time whole-heartedly singing along with praise choruses with lines like "He is the healer of all our diseases" or "Jesus is my healer." 

Intellectually, I know that He is a God of healing, and that sometimes the healing occurs on earth and sometimes it takes place in Heaven.  In my mind, I know that He is the healer of broken hearts. 

But sometimes, I just can't seem to silence that little voice in my heart that asks, "But why didn't He heal Hannah in the way we asked Him to?"

I'm still working my way through Randy Alcorn's book "If God is Good:  Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil."  He does a really good job answering questions like the one above.  In fact, he does such a good job, I'm not even going to try to paraphrase him.  Please bear with me as I quote from Chapter 36.  He begins with this striking statement:

"Asking God to always heal us and remove adversity is like asking Him to afflict us with spiritual apathy."

And then he continues....

"Scripture's prayers deal far more with spiritual growth than with physical health.  Notice the focus of Paul's prayer for the Colossians:

'And we pray this in order that you may life a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way; bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthed with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.' (Colossians 1:10-12)

It's striking what Paul doesn't pray for:  an elder's bout with cancer, the flu bug going around Colossae, an Asia Minor recession, kidney stones, back problems, and good weather for the church picnic.  Did they have these issues back then?  Sure.  They had diseases, discomforts, financial strains, and bad weather.  And did they pray for them?  No doubt.  But Scripture's recorded prayers seldom concern such things. They involve intercession for people's love for God, knowledge of God, walk with God, and service to God.

We should pray for ourselves and our suffering loved ones, not simply try to pray away suffering.  "God, please heal this cancer" is appropriate.  "God, please use for your glory this cancer, so long as I have it" is equally appropriate.

When you pray only for healing, what are you praying to miss out on?  Christlikeness?  Shouldn't we learn to pray that our suffering causes growth, that God will give us little glimpses of Heaven as we seek to endure, and that he would use us?  I've mentioned Jim Harrell, a friend and ALS sufferer.  Jim wrote me,

'As I contemplate what it would be like to be healed of this disease, God has caused me to focus on my own sinfulness and human condition.  If healed, I genuinely fear that within a year at the latest I would begin to forget what it was like to be in this condition.  I would fall into the trap of allowing life's distractions to divert me.  While I realize these distractions are not bad in and of themselves, a clear and distinct advantage of suffering is its ability to sharply focus one on what's important....  The wonder of being healed would be indescribable; however, I seriously question whether or not that would be the best for my soul.  I don't have an answer, but I do know my own heart.'

Hmmmmm....This really made me think.  I have no doubt that God uses suffering for His purposes, which often are far beyond our understanding.  Think about this ... Have you ever heard someone say, "I grew closest to God when my life was free of pain and suffering"?  Most of the time (if not all of the time), it's exactly the opposite. 

I'd love to hear your thoughts...

Wacky Wednesday -- The Dad Life

Several of my Facebook friends posted this video on their wall in honor of Father's Day this past weekend.  I got a real kick out of it when I watched it, because it sure reminded me of a particular Dad that I know very well.  From the gas station sunglasses, to the Dockers with cuffs & a crease, to the tears while watching Disney videos, to the devotion for his daughters...this video has Brad pegged.  What a great Dad he is!



Yesterday morning, Brad told me about a dream he'd had the night before.  We kind of consider it a big event in the family when any of us dreams about Hannah, and we always tell each other about it.  It doesn't happen that often, so when it does, it's always special. 

In his dream, he and Hannah were playing church league softball.  It's not really surprising that he would dream about that, because he and Bethany actually are playing church league softball this year on a co-ed team.  The surprising part would be that Hannah was playing softball at all ... she was not really the athletic type.  Oh, she tried to be when she was younger ... we did dance, soccer, and basketball when she was little, but by the time she got to high school, she was content to be the girl's basketball team manager.  Like her mom, she knew her limitations!

But in his dream, Hannah got up to bat and hit a ball to the fence.  The fact that she hit the ball at all tickled her, and she laughed and laughed as she tried to run the bases.  It slowed her down so much that she got thrown out at second.  And that's where the dream ended.  I loved hearing about that dream, because it was just so Hannah-like for her to laugh at herself like that.  He said that she was healthy and beautiful and happy in his dream.  What a comfort to know that she truly is healthy and beautiful and happy where she is now ... and who knows .. maybe she's playing on a softball team in Heaven!

Tell About It Tuesday -- Driving Contract

Well, I made it for one week!  Last week I actually managed to post something five days in a row.  But, alas, I failed to get a Monday Mourning post up yesterday.  Last night was our monthly Anchor of Hope support group meeting, and those meeting days are always very busy.  By the time we got in at 9:30 last night, I just didn't have the mental stamina to formulate a coherent post.  So, check in next Monday for a new Monday Mourning post.

As you know if you follow this blog, Bethany turned sixteen a couple of weeks ago, and is now a legal driver.  And let me stop here and thank all of you who have prayed for and asked about Bethany since I wrote about her health issues last week.  We went back to the doctor yesterday and had more labs drawn.  All of her numbers looked much better, with only one liver count still above normal.  We are still waiting for some of her tests to come in, and we still don't know if she has mono or Lyme Disease, but whichever it is, she's getting better, and that's all that really matters.  We'll go back again next week and they will check her again, but we can tell she's going to be just fine.  So again, thank you for your concern.

Anyway, back to her becoming a driver.  As her birthday approached, we decided to create a "driving contract"...something to help keep her accountable as she took on this huge responsibility of driving.  I thought I would share it with you here, just in case someone you love is about to be turned loose behind the wheel.  Here's what we came up with....

Driving Contract

1. Absolutely no texting or talking on the phone while driving. If you must talk or text, pull over in a safe location to do it.

2. Text us whenever you’re changing locations (before you start driving!).

3. Always be where you say you are.

4. No more than one friend in the car at any time.

5. Drive with two hands on the wheel at all times.

6. As long as your grades are all A’s and B’s, we will pay for your gas. If any grade should drop to a C at any time, we will stop paying for gas until it is raised back to a B or higher.

7. You must always be home by your appointed curfew.

8. Because we love you, we will require you to follow the terms of this contract or lose your driving privileges.

I made two copies of the contract and all three of us signed and dated it.  One copy stays in the glove compartment of Bethany's car, and we kept the other one.  Hopefully, this will help keep both her and the other drivers on the road safe.  Feel free to personalize this contract for your own child or grandchild and use it! 

Free For All Friday

Well, we've made it to "Free for All Friday".  Friday posts can be about anything...and may often be rather random and disjointed in nature.  So here we go...

This week has not exactly gone as planned.  Remember all those favorite things about summer I talked about in my last "Ten on the Tenth" post?  I believe I said something like, "I may not have to leave the house all summer."  Well, I've actually spent the last four days of this week at the doctor's office with Bethany.  Starting this past Sunday, she began developing a constellation of symptoms that left me convinced by Tuesday that she had viral meningitis.  I brought her to the doctor, who drew lots of blood, and announced that she did not have meningitis (thankfully!), but she did have strep.  This seemed a little odd, because a sore throat was not one of her symptoms.  But we left with a prescription for an antibiotic, and figured we were done.

Later that afternoon, though, I got a phone call from the doctor's office.  The full blood test results were now back, and there were some numbers they did not like.  Would I bring her back in tomorrow for another blood draw?  Well, of course I would...but after having a child with cancer, hearing that there were problems with Bethany's bloodwork really twisted my gut.   

So we went back the next day, and had another blood draw.  There were lots of folks having labs done that day, and the results were slow coming back, so the doctor suggested that we go out for lunch and come back later to find out the results.  So off we went to a nearby Mexican restaurant and had lunch ... which, for me, was eerily reminiscent of the day the MRI tech sent Hannah and I down to the hospital cafeteria for lunch while we waited for her scan results.  I really wasn't very hungry. 

When we got back to the doctor's office, we were told that her bloodwork profile was indicative of either Lyme Disease or mononucleosis.  Either one was preferable to what had been going through my mind.  The tests were inconclusive, though, so we were asked to return the next day for another blood draw.  Just in case it was Lyme Disease, the doctor did prescribe another antibiotic to tackle that, which we started that evening.

So yesterday was another blood draw, with some numbers going up and some going down, which led to yet another set of blood work today.  Today's numbers showed improvement in all areas...Praise the Lord!...but we'll have to go back Monday for another blood draw.  We should also have results of some of the sent-off tests by Monday, hopefully letting us know definitively whether it's mono or Lyme Disease.  Hey...We can deal with those things!  I'll just be glad to have it settled.  And, thankfully, she really doesn't feel all that bad, although I know she is sick because she hasn't been begging me to let her drive...not too much, anyway.  :)

OK...Now a random subject change (as my friend Susie always says).  I have a friend who has lost two children, a little girl to a mitochondrial disease, and a little boy to cancer.  Before her little boy ever got sick, he told her that if he went to Heaven before her, he would send her heart-shaped clouds.  So ever since he went to Heaven, she has been collecting pictures of heart-shaped clouds.  When I saw this picture posted on Facebook today, I emailed it to her, and I thought I would share it with you, too.  Enjoy!