Tell About It Tuesday -- While We're Waiting ... For Siblings!!

For some time now, we at While We're Waiting have had a burden to reach out to kids and adults who have lost a brother or a sister. We know from our experience with our own children that they are often the "forgotten ones" when a family loses a child.  In fact, every time we have a While We're Waiting event, at least one parent asks us what is available for their surviving children.  And sadly, we've had to shake our heads ... we just really hadn't had anything to offer.

So we have been praying for a long time that God would send someone to us who could provide us some guidance in that aspect of this ministry ... and, of course, that would need to be someone who had lost a brother or a sister.

About three months ago or so, we started a facebook page designed just for bereaved siblings. We felt that it was important to have a moderator on that page, to serve as a gatekeeper and to ensure that the discussions moved in a positive direction.  That moderator has been me, and frankly, I'm not the right person for the job. The page has been VERY quiet, and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I, who have not lost a sibling, am the moderator.  Really, the page has not gotten off the ground at all.  We feel that the page could be a springboard to a more active ministry to siblings, possibly even leading to retreats for them, like the ones we do for parents. In order for that to happen, though, we knew we needed someone these kids could really relate to to lead it.

A few weeks ago, God brought us into contact with a young man named Jason Clenney. He won our hearts immediately when he told Brad and I that he had shared Hannah's story with his youth group right after she was "promoted" (his word), and seven of his students got saved!  He went on to share some of his personal story with us, about how he had lost his only sibling, his brother Clayton, in a car accident six years ago.  He talked about how God had brought him through it, and had given him a passion for reaching out to young people who had lost siblings.  Oh my!  That was all we needed to hear!

Last night, the WWW board had dinner with Jason, and we talked for over three hours. What a great visit we had! We believe he is the man God has in mind to get this ministry to siblings underway,   starting with him moderating the "While We're Waiting -- Support for Bereaved Siblings" facebook page.  We'll see where God takes it from there.

We asked him to introduce himself on the While We're Waiting -- Support for Bereaved Parents facebook page (many of the kids on the siblings page will be their children), and this is what he had to say ...

Hello all! I hope this finds you well. My name is Jason Clenney and I am so happy to be welcomed into the While We're Waiting family. I have been brought onboard to help facilitate healing and give hope to those among us who have lost siblings. Suffering the loss of a child is hard, impossibly difficult to deal with I'm sure. I have never been in those shoes, and pray that I never have to be. However, I am no stranger to grief. Let me share with you a bit of my story so you can know where I am coming from. I encourage you to ask questions. You are trusting me with your child/children, so I want you to be comfortable with me! 

Six years ago, I lost my only sibling. My brother Clayton was killed in an auto-incident (not an accident...it didn't catch God by surprise) near his home outside of Hot Springs. I had grown up in a Funeral Home setting, could counsel people "on the other side of the table" about death and grief, and could give all the "right answers" to the tough questions that tragedies ask. But until you have been through it, suffered, hurt, and taken ownership of your own grief, you just don't know what it is like! I have learned so much from that experience, through seeking out comfort in God's word, and from counseling with others who have lost loved ones. I have taught workshops to young people on how to deal with grief in a healthy way, even pioneering a grief recovery group for young people. And I have seen the GOOD that can come from accepting God's sovereign plan and seeking out His purpose in Clayton's passing. This season of grief in my life was actually a healthy, fruitful thing. It gave me the unique ability to identify with others who have been in my situation and empathize with their struggle. It has also given me opportunity to point others to the Healer of my hurt.

Knowing that you have lost a child, I hurt for you. Knowing that many of you have kids that are still trying to process all of the complex emotions (sometimes all at once) of losing their sibling, my heart goes out to them...and I would like to come alongside them and walk out this journey with them. I serve as the Associate Pastor: Pastor of Student and Music Ministries for Immanuel Baptist Church in Sheridan Arkansas. I am a believer in Christ, in His sacrifice, and in His power to save and restore! I also work some on the side in the Funeral Care field, having a degree in Mortuary Science and Funeral Service Education. I am an avid outdoorsman, spending as much time as I can in the woods or on the water...and was recently selected as Chaplain for the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission. I am an aggie at heart with a small farm and a ragamuffin assortment of critters. I have a beautiful bride, Heather, and an amazing little 16 month old daughter, Ava. If you have any recommendations for me that would assist in serving your child, let me know. Especially with young people, it is difficult for them to "let you in." They are not going to trust me with their sensitive issues and make themselves vulnerable and honest with me or others until they have confidence in the relationship. I look forward to getting to know you all and growing with you.

Why am I sharing all of this with you?  A few reasons ...

First, please pray for Jason, that God would give him wisdom as he gets to know these hurting kids and young adults, builds relationships with them, and seeks to give them godly counsel.  Of course, it's also important that he balances the time he gives to WWW with the responsibilities of his full-time job, and most importantly, his sweet family!

Second, please pray for these siblings, that they would be willing to open up their hearts and share with Jason and with each other, and that God would bring healing and hope to them.

Third, please pray for While We're Waiting, as we seek to follow God's leadership in all we do. We don't want to take a single step without His leading.  We would love to see this Facebook group grow into a full-fledged ministry to siblings, but only if that's in His plan.

Finally, please help us spread the word.  If you know a teen or an adult who has lost a sibling and who would like to connect with others who understand, have them search for "While We're Waiting -- Support for Bereaved Siblings" and request to join the group.  It's a closed group, so only other members of the group can see their conversations ... it will be a safe place for them to talk about things that only other bereaved siblings can understand, and for them to pray for each other and encourage each other.

The Clenney Family

Tell About It Tuesday -- A Surprise In My Mailbox!

When my girls were younger, I always enjoyed watching Blues Clues with them.  I loved how the show encouraged the kids not to just watch passively, but to actually get involved.  And my favorite part was how excited Steve would get about mail time every day ...

I could totally relate to Steve.  As far back as I can remember, I've always gotten excited about the mail.  Of course, back when ALL correspondence came through the mail, it was a little more exciting.  These days, most of my communication with people is online, and my mailbox is generally just full of junk mail and bills.  But still, there's always that feeling of anticipation when I open my mailbox ... there just might be something fun and exciting in there!  Even though there usually isn't (lol), it's something I look forward to every day.

Last Wednesday, I opened up my mailbox with my usual tingle of anticipation, and for once, I was not disappointed!  In amongst the junk mail from politicians and a couple of bills, there was an envelope addressed to While We're Waiting.  The address was handwritten, and a quick glance at the upper left corner revealed that it had traveled to my mailbox all the way from Cincinnati, Ohio.  I ripped it open and pulled out a two-page, typewritten letter.

I could tell from the salutation that this was not going to be a read-it-in-the-driveway kind of letter ... this was going to be a sit-down-and-savor-it kind of letter.  So I carried it into the house and sat down at my kitchen table. 

Here's what it said ...

"Dear Followers of Christ,

Enclosed you will find a check in the amount of $450.00 that we would like to pass on to your awesome ministry.

Last month my wife and I, along with another couple, rented a home down in Florida for a week.  We rented the home because both of our daughters play fast-pitch softball on the same collegiate team here in Cincinnati, and they had games scheduled for a week in that general area.  By sharing the home together, of course, we could split the cost to save money.  My wife and I were excited about the trip as it also gave us a chance to be with each other, plus watch our daughter compete.  As the trip grew nearer, a co-worker of mine loaned me a book called "Fearless."  He told me that he thought I would enjoy it so I was ready to start it once we got down to Florida.

The evening of the third day while in Florida, my wife Holly received an email from the owners of the home.  We were shocked at the contents, as it started out by saying, "This is no joke, this is not a prank, and we are not trying to scam you in any way."  It went on to say that they wanted to show an act of kindness by refunding all of the money back to our credit card and hoped we enjoyed their home the rest of the week free of charge!  I looked at my wife in disbelief, as did the other couple.  Holly then went right to our credit card automatically thinking we were being scammed and to her amazement all the money had been put back on our credit card.  As two couples, we sat down shaking our heads about what had just happened to us.  Right away though I said there is no way Holly and I can just take that money back because it's not our nature.  The other couple agreed so we sent back an email explaining that we would like to donate the money to their favorite charity or organization.  They quickly responded back that they did not have one, and for us to just enjoy the remainder of the week.  The other couple decided then what they would do with their returned money as Holly and I pondered our thoughts.

About three or four days after we returned home to Cincinnati I completed my book, "Fearless."  I walked out into our family room and told my wife about a guy named Adam Brown.  I cannot put into words how that book talked to me as a man, son, husband, father, friend, and follower of Christ.  I told my wife that God gave me time and patience to finish the book so He could speak to me.  When I was shown God's wonderful love at work inside "While We're Waiting," I knew this is where He wanted the money to end up at.

One last thing, I wanted to give you the name and address of the person who is responsible for this donation, as you see it never really was ours in the first place.  God has blessed Holly and I with 30 years of marriage and three wonderful children.  He also placed me in a job that has given me so many personal rewards over the years.  God is good!"

This gentleman went on to give me the name and address of the person who owned the house they were renting.  

I was blown away.  What a cool story!  I was so humbled and grateful that these folks had chosen to pass their blessing on to While We're Waiting.  I immediately called our partners in this ministry, Larry & Janice Brown, about whose son the book "Fearless" was written, and shared the letter with them.  They were as excited and grateful as I was.   Then I sat down and wrote both the writer of the letter and the owner of the house lengthy thank you letters.  

I love surprises in my mailbox!    

Sing it with me ... "Here's the mail, it never fails, it makes me wanna wag my tail, when it comes I wanna wail, "MMMMAAAAIIIILLLL!"  ~Steve from Blues Clues

Tell About It Tuesday -- While We're Waiting Weekend for Bereaved Parents

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen."  (Ephesians 3:20-21 KJV)

Every time we have one of these weekend retreats for bereaved parents, this is the Scripture that comes to mind.  I always have an idea in mind of how the weekend is going to go ... I know who's coming (at least their names and where they're from), I know a little bit about their stories, I know what activities we have planned, I know what our schedule shows.  I mean, this is the seventh one of these retreats we've hosted ... you would think it would be more or less routine by now.

But every time, every time, without fail, God does exceeding abundantly above anything I had asked for or even thought of.  He once again brought together the perfect group of parents ... exactly the folks who needed to be there at just the time they needed to be there.  We were privileged to hear the stories of their precious children.  Our conversations were rich, and I heard such strong statements of faith from these parents, even in the midst of deep pain.  Certainly there were tears, but they were diluted by fervent prayer, warm hugs, and words of compassion from other parents who truly understood.

There was laughter too ... lots of laughter.  We enjoyed all of the fun activities Family Farm has to offer.  The weather was a bit chilly for early April, but a little cool air didn't slow us down.  

On Saturday morning, we met out on the front steps of the Lodge to put on the Armor of God -- No better way to start the day!

From there, we went out to the barnyard.  There's something so therapeutic about hanging out with animals.

Later that day, we spent some time at Slide Mountain ...

The group conquered the "Islands".  Well, sort of.  The idea is to get the whole group across three wooden platforms using only three board and a rope.  The stakes are high, as the leaves on the ground are actually "boiling hot lava." 

We tried out the balance log ... And actually held it for 30 seconds!  (Although Daddy May counted pretty fast!)

A little archery ...

And it's never too cold for the zip line!

The Mays shared their son Zane's story at Salvation Station ...

And when we weren't sharing stories or playing outside, we were eating!  Our executive chef came out on Saturday evening and once again treated us to a 5-course gourmet dinner, and it was amazing!

And, in the midst of all this activity, we never forgot the reasons why we were there ... to remember our precious children ...

... and to honor our Lord by living well while we're waiting to be reunited with them in Heaven one day.

Here's what one of our guests had to say after the weekend was over ...

"I have attended the Mom's retreat, my husband attended the Dad's retreat and we attended the Couple's retreat. I was very apprehensive, nervous, almost talked myself out of going, but persevered in going. It was by God's grace and mercy, I stepped out. So glad I did. I moved forward in my healing, lifted me spiritually, made some awesome friendships, found strength, and encouragement in EVERYONE! We are almost 3 years out and it was difficult for me. So glad I did not listen to the devil and let him rob me of joy and blessings I received. I highly recommend you attend one of these events."

Our next two WWW Parent Weekends are scheduled for November 14-16, 2014, and April 10-12, 2015.  Click here to for more information or to register.  Maybe you're not a parent who's lost a child ... but we would love for you to help us spread the word about these events and this ministry.  "Like" our While We're Waiting page on Facebook to stay informed about all of our upcoming events.  We would also be glad to come share with your church, Sunday School class, or civic group about While We're Waiting.  Click on the "Contact" us tab above to get in touch with us.  Most of all, you can pray for us as we seek God's wisdom and leadership in the growth of this ministry.  I know that many of you do, and we appreciate that more than we can say.  What a privilege it is to be a part of this wonderful ministry!

While We're Waiting Parents -- April 2014

Tell About It Tuesday -- While We're Waiting Weekend for Bereaved Dads

A couple of weeks ago, the While We're Waiting ministry hosted our fourth weekend retreat for bereaved dads.  This event was facilitated by my husband (Brad) and Larry Brown, and from everything I've heard, it was amazing!

For the first time, our WWW Weekend for Dads was held at Spring Valley Anglers Rod & Gun Club.  This is a beautiful retreat facility located on the limestone banks of Spavinaw Creek in northwest Arkansas.  Nine dads with children in Heaven, in addition to Brad and Larry, had the opportunity to do some fly fishing and skeet shooting in this beautiful setting.  They also spent a good bit of time sitting in comfy chairs around the cozy firepit, and got to enjoy a fabulous steak dinner prepared and served by a professional chef.  

And as they participated in these activities, they talked.  They talked about their kids who are now in Heaven, and the kids they still have here on earth.  They discussed how their grief has impacted their job performance, their spiritual lives, and their relationships with their wives and others.  Some of these men lost sons, and some lost daughters.  Their children's ages ranged from 5 years old to 38 years old. Three went to Heaven after battling cancer, three young men drowned, two were involved in car accidents, one was killed in action in Afghanistan, one was involved in a drug-related tragedy, and one was murdered.  

I am told that while there were certainly some tears over the course of the weekend as these dads shared their most painful experiences with each other, there was also a whole lot of laughter.  And why not?  Each of these dads had experienced a different type of loss ... but they all shared something in common ... a rock solid faith in Christ, and an assurance that they will see their dear children again one day.  And each one of these dads is committed to living well while he's waiting for that great reunion.  They understand that that is the best way to honor both their children and their Lord until that day comes.

Here are a few pictures from the weekend.  Fishing in the sparkling creek ...

Skeet shooting ...

Enjoying some good food ...

And soaking up the warmth of a good fire ...

All while remembering some great kids ...

Here's what a couple of the dads who attended had to say about the weekend ...

I had a wonderful time -- sharing with other dads who have lost their child.  Being able to hear their stories and learn how they are surviving and moving forward is very important.  This is a very important and needed resource for families walking this road.  ~Dustin's dad

Attended Dads' weekend in northwest Arkansas.  What a blessing to spend time with dads who truly understand.  ~Ryan's dad

We at While We're Waiting feel so humbled and privileged to have the opportunity to host events like this.  Will you please help us spread the word about this ministry?  We have another Dads' Weekend scheduled for October 10-12, 2014.  This one will be held at a different location in west central Arkansas ... Click here to read about one of our previous events there.  We also host weekend events for couples/singles and mini-retreats for moms.  Click here to go to our website and get more information or to register for any of these events.  You can also support us by praying for this ministry, and if you feel led to, you can help support us financially.  We do not charge for any of our retreats, and rely solely on donations to keep the ministry going.  You can make a donation on our website via Paypal ... just click here.  We are a 501(c)(3) organization, so all donations are tax-deductible.  

The WWW theme verse is Romans 8:25 -- "But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance."  We are so thankful for the hope of Heaven, and while we're waiting, we pray that we will persevere eagerly!

Tell About It Tuesday -- Wind Chimes and Rocks

I have always been what I would call a realist.  I'm not a sentimentalist.  I'm not a person who sees a message from God in every rainbow or heart-shaped rock.  I never have been.

But sometimes, God smacks me upside the head with something (as we say in the south), and even I can't dismiss it as a coincidence or explain it away with logic.

Last Wednesday marked five years since our 17-year-old daughter, Hannah, went to Heaven after a year-long battle with brain cancer.  For the past four years, the three of us have made that anniversary a family day, taking off work and school, traveling to her grave (approximately 90 minutes away), and going out to eat at one of Hannah's favorite restaurants.

This year was different.  Brad was in Phoenix, traveling for work, and Bethany was at the U of A in Fayetteville, unable to skip class.  So it was just me on that day.

I knew ahead of time that I would be alone of that day, and I knew I needed to have a plan.  I decided that I would go to her grave and decorate it.  Now that may not seem like much to you ... but that is something I've never been able to do.  I've never been able to bring myself to shop for items to decorate my daughter's grave.  It was just too painful ... I couldn't do it.  But this year, I thought, "I can do this."

So Tuesday evening, I went to Hobby Lobby (my favorite store!) and did some shopping.  I picked out some "spring-y" things that made me feel happy.  And it was okay ... even kind of nice.  I actually enjoyed the shopping process.

Wednesday morning dawned clear and cold.  I got up, put my dog on her leash, and walked her out into the yard.  It was a beautiful morning, and I had a profound feeling of peace as I thought about the day.  As I looked around the yard, my eyes lit upon a landscaping archway we have in one of our flowerbeds.  And out of nowhere, a thought popped into my head.

"I would like to have some wind chimes to hang from that archway.  I think the sound of the wind blowing through them would remind me of Hannah."

I've never wanted wind chimes before.  To be honest, I'm really not even a big fan of wind chimes.  It was a completely random thought.  But at that moment, I decided that I would look for some wind chimes to hang from that archway.

I came back in and gathered my things to take to the cemetery.  On an impulse, I went into Hannah's room and picked up a decorative rock off her windowsill.  It had the word JOY on it, along with a mosaic dragonfly.  Since I was taking this giant step of decorating her grave, I wanted to include something with the word JOY on it.  I really didn't want to "give up" this particular rock, because it was one of the first JOY items I purchased after Hannah's death, but I knew it was a good, durable item I could place on her grave that would withstand outdoor conditions ... so I somewhat reluctantly placed it in my car with the other items.

It was an uneventful drive to Briggsville, and I had probably the best visit to Hannah's grave I've ever had.  I think I felt better having a "job" to do when I got there, and I got busy decorating as soon as I arrived.  I worked quickly, since it was 32 degrees outside with a stiff north wind!  I was pretty pleased with the results.

If you look in the lower right hand corner of the above picture, you can see the JOY rock I placed there.

I chose the bird to represent Bethany and her fiance', Brad Bird, who were unable to come themselves.

I came home after that, wrote my last blog post about the 14 Things, and prepared for that evening's While We're Waiting support group meeting.  I knew it would be an emotional evening for me, considering the significance of the day, and indeed it was.  

As our meeting came to a close, and we all prepared to leave, one of the sweet moms in our group discreetly handed me a gift bag, saying that she and her husband knew it was a special day for our family and that they had gotten us something.  "It's not much," she said, almost a little sheepishly.  I thanked her for it and told her I'd wait to open it until I got home.  I had had enough public displays of emotion for one night!

I arrived home a little while later, and walked into a dark, lonely house.  I flipped on a few lights, greeted my dog, and turned my attention to the little gift bag. I read the sweet card, which brought tears to my eyes, then lifted out the paper on top.  Inside were two items, each one well wrapped in tissue paper.  I picked up the first one and unwrapped it.

It was a set of wind chimes.  

My mouth literally dropped open.  One of my first thoughts that morning had been a wish for some wind chimes, and now, at the end of the day, here they were.

I almost forgot that there was still another item in that bag.  Still shaking my head over those wind chimes, I reached in and pulled it out.  It was a little heavier than the first item, and I had to unwrap several layers of tissue paper.  I couldn't help but exclaim out loud when I saw what it was.

It was a rock.

A JOY rock to replace the one I had put on Hannah's grave that morning.  

Y'all ... How does that even happen?  

Only God can do that.  Only God can know the deep desires of our heart ... the things that we cannot even articulate.  He knows just what we need to encourage us, even when we don't know what that is ourselves.  His timing could not be more perfect.  And I am humbled and awed to be the recipient of one (actually two) of his wonderful gifts.

"Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear."  Isaiah 65:24 (ESV)

To be continued on Thoughtful Thursday ...

Tell About It Tuesday -- A Unique Opportunity for Bereaved Dads

While We're Waiting offers three types of retreats for bereaved parents ... a weekend-long retreat for singles/couples, one day mini-retreats for Moms, and weekend-long retreats just for Dads.  

Since WWW began in early 2011, we've hosted six parents' weekends and 14 (I think) mini-retreats for Moms ... but only three weekends for Dads.  We've found that Dads are just a little bit more hesitant to commit to something like this.  I don't know ... maybe they think it's going to be a "spill your guts" kind of thing all weekend long.  No man wants to do that ... and I don't think too many women do either.  

No, when the guys get together, they spend time doing guy stuff ... riding four wheelers, fishing, grilling steaks, etc.  Sure, they talk about their kids and their experiences along the road of grief, and for many of them, this is something they've really never had an opportunity to do with another man, especially a man who actually understands.

Our Dads' weekends are usually held at my husband's family's farm in a very rural area of Yell County, Arkansas.  The guys stay in an older farmhouse with several bedrooms, where they have the run of hundreds of acres of fields and forest land.  They always have a great time, but the accommodations, while nice, are nothing fancy.  You can click here and here to read about the last two Dads' weekends which were held there.  

Here's where the unique opportunity part comes in.  While We're Waiting has been offered the use of the Spring Valley Anglers Rod & Gun Club Lodge for one of our Dads' weekends in March.  This facility is located in Siloam Springs, Arkansas.  This place is amazing ... click here to take a look at their website.  We are so excited to have the opportunity to host an event for Dads here.  And with the location in northwest Arkansas, it's more easily accessible to more people.  It's even close to an airport, in case anyone would need to fly in for the weekend.

The weekend is scheduled for March 14-16, 2014.  The guys never have a set starting time on Friday evening, because everyone gets off work at different times, but they will gather Friday evening, and will wrap up the weekend on Sunday morning.  Guys, if you've thought about coming to a Dads' weekend in the past, but just haven't done it ... here's your chance.  And ladies, if your husband needs to come to something like this ... use your feminine wiles to get him there.  I can promise that every Dad who comes will be glad he did.  

There's no cost for the weekend.  Of course, we always accept donations if anyone would like to give something to support the ministry, but it is not necessary.  To register, just click on the "Register for a While We're Waiting" tab above.  Spots are limited, so don't delay.  It's going to be a great weekend.  I leave you with what one of our dads said after the last Dads' weekend ...

 "I want to thank you for this weekend.  I know so much more will come to me as I process these moments over the next couple of weeks, months, and years to come.  But, these are the immediate take-aways that I will leave with today:  1) I'm not alone in this walk, 2) the opportunity to bring my son alive in the open discussions and just saying his name aloud again, and 3) ways to move forward in my life but, more importantly, my faith. Thanks again and God bless you."

Tell About It Tuesday -- "Giving Tuesday"

So, we've survived Black Friday (no, I didn't take part in the madness!), Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday (which I enthusiastically participated in) and now it's time for Giving Tuesday.

I don't know who came up with this "Giving Tuesday" idea, but I kind of like it.  It's the perfect opportunity to update you about the While We're Waiting ministry and tell you how you can help support it.

If you're new to the blog, you're probably not familiar with While We're Waiting.  WWW is a nonprofit ministry to bereaved parents, co-founded by my husband and me and our good friends, Larry and Janice Brown.  My husband and I lost our 17-year-old daughter, Hannah, to cancer in February of 2009, and the Browns lost their 34-year-old son, Adam, in action in Afghanistan in March of 2010.

Early on in our grief journey, we found that nothing was more helpful to us in the healing process than spending time with other Christian couples who had lost children.  One Sunday after church, we had lunch with the Browns, and we discovered that we had a similar desire to help bring families who had lost children together.  Three hours later, we left that booth in Cotija's Mexican Restaurant with a God-given dream of a ministry in which we would host retreats for bereaved parents.  By the time we left the restaurant that day, we already had a location planned, dates picked out, and a name for this fledgling ministry.

Since that day in late 2010 ...

...We've hosted six weekend-long retreats for parents

...We've hosted three weekend-long retreats for Dads

...We've hosted eleven one-day mini-retreats for Moms

At these retreats we've ...

...Shared our children's stories

...Prayed for each other

...Eaten delicious food

...Cuddled baby bunnies, ridden a redneck carousel, flown down Slide Mountain, and zip lined across a pond

...Cried together and laughed together

...And encouraged one another to live well while we're waiting to be reunited with our kids in Heaven one day.

We've met parents from ...

...Texas, Mississippi, Louisiana, Kansas, Missouri, Tennessee, Illinois, Florida, and Arkansas

We've seen broken hearts begin to mend and a number of lives changed forever.  And this is not due to anything we've done.  God's presence has been so evident at each one of these events, and His hand is clearly on this ministry.

And we've expanded our outreach...

...We have a vibrant, growing community of bereaved, but believing, parents participating on our Facebook page ("While We're Waiting -- Support for Bereaved Parents")

...We have a monthly While We're Waiting faith-based support group meeting, which has been a great blessing to so many

...We have sent 58 Hope Packages to newly-bereaved parents just in the year 2013

And, most exciting of all, we are in the very early stages of a building project.  We believe God is leading us to build a facility which will be dedicated just to the While We're Waiting ministry.  This will be a lodge-style building on 50 acres, which will contain 8-10 private bedrooms with baths for retreat attendees to use.

Our desire is to create a warm, welcoming, safe place ... a refuge ... for parents who have lost children to come "home" to.  

I've never been any good at fundraising.  When my kids used to have to do fundraisers for school, we'd hit up the grandparents, and then I'd buy whatever else they had to sell myself.  I couldn't stand to ask people to spend their hard-earned money for wrapping paper, or popcorn, or whatever other little trinkets they were selling.

I'm still pretty uncomfortable with the whole fundraising idea.  But especially as we undertake this building project, funds will be needed.  We do not charge for any of our events or for sending out the Hope Packages, although we do receive a love offering at our events.  We never want cost to be a prohibitive factor for anyone who would like to attend one of our retreats or receive a Hope Package.

Do not donate to While We're Waiting if it would cause you to give less to your local church, which is where I feel our first responsibility lies in our giving.  And we wouldn't want you to give less to any other ministry or missionary that you may already be supporting.  But if God has blessed you, and you have an abundance this year and would like to donate some of it to a worthy cause, we'd be grateful if you'd consider WWW.

So, if you'd like to participate in "Giving Tuesday" -- please consider making a tax-deductible donation to While We're Waiting.  You can do so by going to the While We're Waiting website and clicking on the "To Donate" tab.  If you prefer not to do online giving, you can send a check made out to While We're Waiting to this address:

While We're Waiting
c/o Jill Sullivan
307 Canon Lane
Malvern, Arkansas 72104

You can be assured that we will be good stewards, and that every penny you give will go directly to the ministry.  Thank you so much!

Tell About It Tuesday -- While We're Waiting Weekend Recap

Wow.  It happened again.  We had an absolutely wonderful weekend with some amazing parents ... all of whom have children in Heaven.  These folks came from all over the country, and we were honored that they chose to come to Arkansas and share their precious children with us.  God blessed us with perfect fall weather ... crisp, cold mornings and bright blue afternoon skies without a cloud in sight.  Family Farm is beautiful in the fall, and everyone quickly made themselves at home.

We kicked off the weekend with a delicious meal together on Friday evening, and then began the process of sharing our children's stories.  There's nothing like sharing your child's story with other moms and dads who truly understand and who sincerely want to hear about your child.  

As the time grew late, we all headed to bed, waking up bright and early on Saturday morning for a good Southern-style breakfast of bacon, eggs, sausage, and biscuits and gravy.

After breakfast, it was back to sharing our stories for awhile, then we headed out to feed the animals.  We paused for a few moments on the front steps of the Lodge to put on the Armor of God (Family Farm style!), and then made our way to the barnyard.  "Daddy May" introduced us to all the animals by name, and then we got to visit with them ... up close and personal!

A few brave folks went for a ride on the "Redneck Carousel" ...

The Mays (who own Family Farm) shared their son's story at Salvation Station ...

We went back inside for a few more stories and a lunch from Chick-Fil-A.  Then it was back outside for some more outdoor activities.  

Slide Mountain ...

Islands ...

the Balance Log ...

a hay ride (which unfortunately was cut short by a flat tire) ...

and, of course, the zip line ...

We checked out the new Family Farm teepee ...

And enjoyed an incredible 5-course gourmet meal prepared and served by our very own professional chef ...

We spent the evening discussing issues that we all deal with as parents with children in Heaven ... things like how we handle birthdays, how we answer the dreaded question, "How many children do you have?", how we deal with the clumsy things well-meaning people often say to us, and how men and women grieve differently, along with a number of other topics.   

Our weekend wrapped up on Sunday morning with a devotional about how we can live well while we're waiting to be reunited with our children in Heaven one day followed by a time of praise and worship.  This is always the most moving time for me, as this group of people who has lost so much lift their voices in praise to their Savior.  Words cannot describe it.

Let me close with the words of a couple of our parents ...

Molly's mom said, "The most wonderful, caring people you will ever meet.  They will show you how living well while we wait is our act of obedience to Jesus and our way to honor our child in Heaven."

Melody's mom said, "This was such a blessing.  Thank you for helping us as we walk through our grief journey."

If you have a child in Heaven, we'd love to see you at our next While We're Waiting Weekend, which is scheduled for April 4-6, 2014.  Just click on the "Register for a While We're Waiting Event" tab above and sign up.  Our retreats fill up quickly, so don't wait!