Friday, May 14, 2010

. . . . .

I find myself at a loss for words tonight.

We run at such a frenzied pace all week long...especially at this time of year. The life of a high school principal in a small town in spring consists of softball games, baseball games, track meets, choir concerts, band concerts, academic awards banquets, FFA banquets, athletic banquets, school plays, booster club meetings, school board meetings, etc., etc. We find ourselves having to "stuff" our emotions a lot...just because we're always getting ready for the next event. Who has time for an emotional breakdown when you've got a banquet to go to? And who wants to be seen at a banquet with red eyes and a puffy face? Especially when it's a banquet where your daughter quite possibly would have been honored as the valedictorian of her class...people might think you're "not doing good". So you choke down the tears, clench your jaw, put on your brave face, and soldier on. The next day there is something else to push through, and the next day, and the next. Finally you come to an evening like tonight. An evening with nowhere to go, and nothing to "be". You can only keep that emotion down for so long, and then it has to come out. And it's refreshing. Not right away...I have to sleep it off overnight when I have an evening like this...but I have learned from experience that tomorrow will be a better day.

Adding to my funk tonight is the news that one of our dear friends in the Anchor of Hope Cancer Ministry will be starting hospice care next week. I've shared a little bit about her before...we met her a few months after Hannah was diagnosed, just as she was beginning her battle with ovarian cancer. She and her husband had moved to Arkansas from Indiana and built a pretty little log cabin in the woods...their dream retirement home. It was not too long after that when cancer struck. She is a precious lady, who has inspired many of us with her positive attitude and trust in God, in spite of her declining health over the past several months. She has been fully aware of her prognosis, and has chosen to live her life filled with the joy of the Lord. While my heart aches for her family (and for myself...I will miss her), I am happy that her long, difficult battle appears to be drawing to a close. She will be welcomed into Heaven with a hearty, "Well done, my good and faithful servant!" What could be sweeter than that?

No comments: