Monday, October 8, 2012

Monday Mourning -- Held (Now I Get It!)

I remember the first time I heard this song ... And I really didn't like it very much. We had just recently moved to the Hot Springs area, and we were in the church-visiting process.  The soloist did a beautiful job ... She certainly had a gorgeous voice.  But I didn't really like the song.  I thought it had a very strange tempo and meter ... In fact, I remember remarking after the service that it sounded to me like the soloist was making it up as it went along.  But most of all, I think I just didn't "get it."  Sure, I understood what the songwriter was trying to say, and I could appreciate the truth in the lyrics, but at that point in my life, there was nothing in the song that applied to me personally.  My family of four was complete, I had never heard of glioblastoma, and life was easy and good.

I really enjoy K-LOVE radio, and it's pretty much always on in our car.  If I have one critique of K-LOVE, though, it's that they will play a particular song ad nauseam for four or five months, and then drop it completely off their playlist.  This particular song became very popular, and was played countless times over the next several months on K-LOVE radio.  After hearing it so many times, I would find myself singing along with it without even paying attention to the words.  Eventually, new songs came along, and this song faded off of K-LOVE's regular playlist.

Just the other day, I was driving home from work, listening to K-LOVE as usual, when this song came on.  It had been a long time since I'd heard it, so I turned up the volume and really listened to the words.  It wasn't long until I nearly had to pull over.  Wow ... It was like a completely different song to me.  I get it now.  I know what it is like to be appalled when the healing does not come and a child is taken from her mother.  I know how it feels to survive after the sacred has been torn from your life. And I know what it is to wonder why we aren't saved from nightmares.

But I also know that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held.  And I've experienced the fulfillment of that promise personally.  And I'm so thankful that I've been held.


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Judy said...

Jill, I too was not particularly fond of this song, but I had never really listened to the words either. Wow! Thank you!

Jill Sullivan said...

You're welcome! It really is a beautiful song...