While We're Waiting Wednesday -- An Update!

It's been awhile since I've posted an updated on the While We're Waiting ministry ... so I'm going to take advantage of a quiet evening at home to try to catch you up.

There's been a lot going on!  We continue to host retreat events for bereaved parents every few months ... some here in Arkansas, and some on the road.  Our most recent parents' weekend was in Wichita Falls, Texas, and we were blessed to meet some wonderful moms and dads there.  We were so grateful to Ron and Kathleen Duncan, who opened their home to our group for that event.  We have two more "on the road" parents' weekends on the schedule, one in northwest Arkansas in February, which is already completely booked, and one in Madison, Mississippi, in June.

We have Mini-Retreats for Bereaved Moms on the calendar in January, March, and June.  January and March are already full, but we have a few openings left for our June 27th date.  We've got a Dads' Weekend scheduled for the last weekend in April, and the guys are really looking forward to that event.

We will be kicking off a Parents' Weekend at our "home" site, Family Farm, in just ten days.  This event has been completely booked for several months now, and there are moms and dads from six different states who will be in attendance.  We cannot wait to meet these parents and hear their children's stories.

Attendance at our monthly support group meetings continues to increase each month.  It's hard to say that that's a good thing, because we sincerely wish there was no need for a group like this, but since there is, we are grateful that God chooses to use WWW in this way.

And since January of 2014, we've mailed 128 Hope Packages to recently-bereaved parents.  Truly a labor of love.

But here's what we're most excited about!!!

For some time now, we've felt God calling us to build a facility which will be dedicated to serving bereaved parents through these While We're Waiting events.  Our desire has been to create a comfortable, safe, warm, home-like lodge where parents who have lost children can gather, with no need to wear a "mask", knowing that they are surrounded by those who understand.  A place where hurting moms and dads can be pointed to our one true source of hope, Jesus Christ.  A refuge, where we can encourage each other to live well while we're waiting to be reunited with our children in Heaven.

Fifty acres with an older home at the edge of Hot Springs is being donated to the While We're Waiting ministry, and that will be the site of the While We're Waiting Refuge.  It's out in the country, surrounded by acres and acres of thoroughbred farms.  Brad and Larry have been spending some of their Saturdays clearing the property ...

Can you picture a "While We're Waiting Refuge" sign hanging here at the entrance?  :-)

And just this past week, we had a drawing done of what the inside of the lodge is going to look like ...

I don't know if you can tell much from this drawing, but if you look closely, you can see the existing house at the top, with an extension drawn toward the bottom of the page which includes six 16'x16' bedrooms, each with a closet and private bath.  The driveway comes up from the bottom of the picture and curves around, circling a separate building which will have four more of these 16'x16' bedrooms.  There will be a vaulted roof area connecting the main lodge to those four bedrooms, and the driveway will go under it so folks will have a covered area in which to unload.  If you look back up to the top of the drawing, you'll see a large meeting room drawn in, which will overlook the rolling hills and pond on that part of the property.  We are having a concept drawing done now, and I can't wait to see it!

All these wonderful things require funds, and God is faithfully providing.  Our events are offered at no cost to the participants (although donations are accepted), so all of our funding comes solely from gifts and contributions.  Little by little, we've watched God grow our bank account, and we are so grateful.  

We are committed to building this facility without incurring any debt, so we are praying for more supporters who will come alongside and assist us financially (and/or physically!) with this project.  We've recently updated the donation page on our While We're Waiting website to make it easier to partner with us.  You can now choose the amount you'd like to donate, and even sign up to make a recurring donation if you choose to.  You can specify if you'd like to make your donation in memory or in honor of someone, and we'll even send a card to notify that person or that person's family of your donation if you'd like for us to do so.  It's completely secure, and because we are a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation, all donations are tax deductible.  We'll send you a receipt for the IRS at the end of the year.  Click here to go straight to our donation page if you'd like to be a part of this project.  

So ... Now you're all caught up on the While We're Waiting ministry.  I'm going to try to make "While We're Waiting Wednesdays" a regular feature on this blog, so if you're interested in following what God is doing in WWW, be sure to check in from time to time.  I hope to be posting a ground-breaking picture soon!

"While We're Waiting" Wednesday -- A Weekend in Mississippi

Many of you ask us often how things are going with the While We're Waiting ministry, so I thought I would start using Wednesdays on the blog as my day to "catch you up" with what we've been up to.  And lately, that's been a lot!

This past weekend, we had the opportunity to hold a While We're Waiting Weekend for Bereaved Parents in Carriere, Mississippi.  How did we end up in southern Mississippi, you ask?  A couple from that part of the country came to our April 2013 retreat at Family Farm near Hot Springs, Arkansas, where we normally hold our events.  They felt the weekend was very helpful for them and they asked if we would consider doing one in their area.  That began a year-long process of planning, preparing, and praying for this past weekend's event.

This weekend was a bit different than our usual weekends.  For this event, we used the couple's lake home as our meeting place, and our guests either stayed in hotels or in their own homes if they lived locally.  It was a very relaxing setting, and we were able to take part in some fun outdoor activities (dodging rain showers all weekend), and enjoy some amazing food.

And of course, we shared the stories of our precious children and discussed a variety of topics faced each day by parents who have children in Heaven.  We cried together and we laughed together.  We sang together and we prayed together.  And we formed bonds of friendship that will last forever.

Here's what Allyson's mom had to say after our weekend together ...

"For those of you who haven't been to a W.W.W retreat I would highly encourage you to go.  In the Lord we are ok and we are going make it. Doesn't mean we don't ache, hurt, or are sad; it just means that because of His strength we can get through another day that brings us closer to eternity.  I choose to praise Him through this storm and watch for His hand to move each day."

A few pictures from the weekend ...

Wish you could have smelled those ribs cooking!  And I still have to snicker a little bit when I think of those Mississippi folks playing with that Arkansas Razorback Baggo set.

On our way home after the retreat, we spent the night with some good friends of ours in Madison, Mississippi, and had the privilege of meeting three more "waiting" families.  These families shared in an unthinkable tragedy ... their three college-age sons were all killed in a car accident together.  We had never met these people ... but within minutes, we were talking as if we had known each other our entire lives.  We were immediately bound together by our love for our children and our love for the Lord.  Before we knew it, five hours had raced by.  What a blessing it was to share both tears and laughter with them!  I went to bed that night with heavy eyes, but a full heart.

This weekend, we'll be traveling to Little Elm, Texas, to share at Point Church. The co-founders of While We're Waiting, Larry & Janice Brown, will be joining us, and all four of us will be speaking.  We'll be sharing our Hannah's story, their Adam's story, and the story of While We're Waiting ... all of which is ultimately God's story!  If you're in the area, we'd love for you to join us.  The church meets at Lakeview Elementary School, 1800 Waterside Drive, at 10:30 a.m.

There's a lot more going on with While We're Waiting, but this post is long enough already.  Tune in next week for another episode of "While We're Waiting" Wednesday.  :-)

Tell About It Tuesday -- While We're Waiting ... For Siblings!!

For some time now, we at While We're Waiting have had a burden to reach out to kids and adults who have lost a brother or a sister. We know from our experience with our own children that they are often the "forgotten ones" when a family loses a child.  In fact, every time we have a While We're Waiting event, at least one parent asks us what is available for their surviving children.  And sadly, we've had to shake our heads ... we just really hadn't had anything to offer.

So we have been praying for a long time that God would send someone to us who could provide us some guidance in that aspect of this ministry ... and, of course, that would need to be someone who had lost a brother or a sister.

About three months ago or so, we started a facebook page designed just for bereaved siblings. We felt that it was important to have a moderator on that page, to serve as a gatekeeper and to ensure that the discussions moved in a positive direction.  That moderator has been me, and frankly, I'm not the right person for the job. The page has been VERY quiet, and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I, who have not lost a sibling, am the moderator.  Really, the page has not gotten off the ground at all.  We feel that the page could be a springboard to a more active ministry to siblings, possibly even leading to retreats for them, like the ones we do for parents. In order for that to happen, though, we knew we needed someone these kids could really relate to to lead it.

A few weeks ago, God brought us into contact with a young man named Jason Clenney. He won our hearts immediately when he told Brad and I that he had shared Hannah's story with his youth group right after she was "promoted" (his word), and seven of his students got saved!  He went on to share some of his personal story with us, about how he had lost his only sibling, his brother Clayton, in a car accident six years ago.  He talked about how God had brought him through it, and had given him a passion for reaching out to young people who had lost siblings.  Oh my!  That was all we needed to hear!

Last night, the WWW board had dinner with Jason, and we talked for over three hours. What a great visit we had! We believe he is the man God has in mind to get this ministry to siblings underway,   starting with him moderating the "While We're Waiting -- Support for Bereaved Siblings" facebook page.  We'll see where God takes it from there.

We asked him to introduce himself on the While We're Waiting -- Support for Bereaved Parents facebook page (many of the kids on the siblings page will be their children), and this is what he had to say ...

Hello all! I hope this finds you well. My name is Jason Clenney and I am so happy to be welcomed into the While We're Waiting family. I have been brought onboard to help facilitate healing and give hope to those among us who have lost siblings. Suffering the loss of a child is hard, impossibly difficult to deal with I'm sure. I have never been in those shoes, and pray that I never have to be. However, I am no stranger to grief. Let me share with you a bit of my story so you can know where I am coming from. I encourage you to ask questions. You are trusting me with your child/children, so I want you to be comfortable with me! 

Six years ago, I lost my only sibling. My brother Clayton was killed in an auto-incident (not an accident...it didn't catch God by surprise) near his home outside of Hot Springs. I had grown up in a Funeral Home setting, could counsel people "on the other side of the table" about death and grief, and could give all the "right answers" to the tough questions that tragedies ask. But until you have been through it, suffered, hurt, and taken ownership of your own grief, you just don't know what it is like! I have learned so much from that experience, through seeking out comfort in God's word, and from counseling with others who have lost loved ones. I have taught workshops to young people on how to deal with grief in a healthy way, even pioneering a grief recovery group for young people. And I have seen the GOOD that can come from accepting God's sovereign plan and seeking out His purpose in Clayton's passing. This season of grief in my life was actually a healthy, fruitful thing. It gave me the unique ability to identify with others who have been in my situation and empathize with their struggle. It has also given me opportunity to point others to the Healer of my hurt.

Knowing that you have lost a child, I hurt for you. Knowing that many of you have kids that are still trying to process all of the complex emotions (sometimes all at once) of losing their sibling, my heart goes out to them...and I would like to come alongside them and walk out this journey with them. I serve as the Associate Pastor: Pastor of Student and Music Ministries for Immanuel Baptist Church in Sheridan Arkansas. I am a believer in Christ, in His sacrifice, and in His power to save and restore! I also work some on the side in the Funeral Care field, having a degree in Mortuary Science and Funeral Service Education. I am an avid outdoorsman, spending as much time as I can in the woods or on the water...and was recently selected as Chaplain for the Arkansas Game and Fish Commission. I am an aggie at heart with a small farm and a ragamuffin assortment of critters. I have a beautiful bride, Heather, and an amazing little 16 month old daughter, Ava. If you have any recommendations for me that would assist in serving your child, let me know. Especially with young people, it is difficult for them to "let you in." They are not going to trust me with their sensitive issues and make themselves vulnerable and honest with me or others until they have confidence in the relationship. I look forward to getting to know you all and growing with you.

Why am I sharing all of this with you?  A few reasons ...

First, please pray for Jason, that God would give him wisdom as he gets to know these hurting kids and young adults, builds relationships with them, and seeks to give them godly counsel.  Of course, it's also important that he balances the time he gives to WWW with the responsibilities of his full-time job, and most importantly, his sweet family!

Second, please pray for these siblings, that they would be willing to open up their hearts and share with Jason and with each other, and that God would bring healing and hope to them.

Third, please pray for While We're Waiting, as we seek to follow God's leadership in all we do. We don't want to take a single step without His leading.  We would love to see this Facebook group grow into a full-fledged ministry to siblings, but only if that's in His plan.

Finally, please help us spread the word.  If you know a teen or an adult who has lost a sibling and who would like to connect with others who understand, have them search for "While We're Waiting -- Support for Bereaved Siblings" and request to join the group.  It's a closed group, so only other members of the group can see their conversations ... it will be a safe place for them to talk about things that only other bereaved siblings can understand, and for them to pray for each other and encourage each other.

The Clenney Family

Tell About It Tuesday -- While We're Waiting Weekend for Bereaved Parents

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen."  (Ephesians 3:20-21 KJV)

Every time we have one of these weekend retreats for bereaved parents, this is the Scripture that comes to mind.  I always have an idea in mind of how the weekend is going to go ... I know who's coming (at least their names and where they're from), I know a little bit about their stories, I know what activities we have planned, I know what our schedule shows.  I mean, this is the seventh one of these retreats we've hosted ... you would think it would be more or less routine by now.

But every time, every time, without fail, God does exceeding abundantly above anything I had asked for or even thought of.  He once again brought together the perfect group of parents ... exactly the folks who needed to be there at just the time they needed to be there.  We were privileged to hear the stories of their precious children.  Our conversations were rich, and I heard such strong statements of faith from these parents, even in the midst of deep pain.  Certainly there were tears, but they were diluted by fervent prayer, warm hugs, and words of compassion from other parents who truly understood.

There was laughter too ... lots of laughter.  We enjoyed all of the fun activities Family Farm has to offer.  The weather was a bit chilly for early April, but a little cool air didn't slow us down.  

On Saturday morning, we met out on the front steps of the Lodge to put on the Armor of God -- No better way to start the day!

From there, we went out to the barnyard.  There's something so therapeutic about hanging out with animals.

Later that day, we spent some time at Slide Mountain ...

The group conquered the "Islands".  Well, sort of.  The idea is to get the whole group across three wooden platforms using only three board and a rope.  The stakes are high, as the leaves on the ground are actually "boiling hot lava." 

We tried out the balance log ... And actually held it for 30 seconds!  (Although Daddy May counted pretty fast!)

A little archery ...

And it's never too cold for the zip line!

The Mays shared their son Zane's story at Salvation Station ...

And when we weren't sharing stories or playing outside, we were eating!  Our executive chef came out on Saturday evening and once again treated us to a 5-course gourmet dinner, and it was amazing!

And, in the midst of all this activity, we never forgot the reasons why we were there ... to remember our precious children ...

... and to honor our Lord by living well while we're waiting to be reunited with them in Heaven one day.

Here's what one of our guests had to say after the weekend was over ...

"I have attended the Mom's retreat, my husband attended the Dad's retreat and we attended the Couple's retreat. I was very apprehensive, nervous, almost talked myself out of going, but persevered in going. It was by God's grace and mercy, I stepped out. So glad I did. I moved forward in my healing, lifted me spiritually, made some awesome friendships, found strength, and encouragement in EVERYONE! We are almost 3 years out and it was difficult for me. So glad I did not listen to the devil and let him rob me of joy and blessings I received. I highly recommend you attend one of these events."

Our next two WWW Parent Weekends are scheduled for November 14-16, 2014, and April 10-12, 2015.  Click here to for more information or to register.  Maybe you're not a parent who's lost a child ... but we would love for you to help us spread the word about these events and this ministry.  "Like" our While We're Waiting page on Facebook to stay informed about all of our upcoming events.  We would also be glad to come share with your church, Sunday School class, or civic group about While We're Waiting.  Click on the "Contact" us tab above to get in touch with us.  Most of all, you can pray for us as we seek God's wisdom and leadership in the growth of this ministry.  I know that many of you do, and we appreciate that more than we can say.  What a privilege it is to be a part of this wonderful ministry!

While We're Waiting Parents -- April 2014

Thoughtful Thursday -- Eagerly Waiting with Perseverance

In the infancy of the While We're Waiting, our board met with a ministry consultant to get some advice on how best to grow this fledgling ministry.  He had some great tips and ideas for us, and I think we benefited from most of his advice.  One of his thoughts, though, we were not too impressed with.

He said, "I think you should consider changing the name.  'While We're Waiting' sounds like you're kicked back in a recliner with your feet up, just passively waiting for your life to come to an end."

He didn't get it.  I mean, he really didn't get it at all.

You see, the While We're Waiting ministry is based on Romans 8:25, which says, "But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance."

Yes, we are waiting ... but not passively, and definitely not with our feet propped up.  We are waiting eagerly, and with perseverance, for our hope to be fulfilled.  Hebrews 6:19 tells us that "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure."  And what is that hope?  The hope of Heaven ... the hope of being reunited with our Savior and our children one day.  And because we have that firm and secure hope as our anchor, we can endure with perseverance the sufferings and sorrows of this world.

And we are waiting eagerly.  The Mirriam-Webster dictionary defines "eager" as  "feeling a strong and impatient desire to do something or for something."  What better definition could there be for the desire we have to be reunited with our precious children?

So, we're waiting, not in our recliners, but with our boots on the ground, eagerly persevering in doing the will of our Father until He calls us to join Him in Heaven.  What better way is there to honor both our Lord and our children while we're waiting?

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast." I Peter 5:10

Tell About It Tuesday -- While We're Waiting Weekend for Bereaved Dads

A couple of weeks ago, the While We're Waiting ministry hosted our fourth weekend retreat for bereaved dads.  This event was facilitated by my husband (Brad) and Larry Brown, and from everything I've heard, it was amazing!

For the first time, our WWW Weekend for Dads was held at Spring Valley Anglers Rod & Gun Club.  This is a beautiful retreat facility located on the limestone banks of Spavinaw Creek in northwest Arkansas.  Nine dads with children in Heaven, in addition to Brad and Larry, had the opportunity to do some fly fishing and skeet shooting in this beautiful setting.  They also spent a good bit of time sitting in comfy chairs around the cozy firepit, and got to enjoy a fabulous steak dinner prepared and served by a professional chef.  

And as they participated in these activities, they talked.  They talked about their kids who are now in Heaven, and the kids they still have here on earth.  They discussed how their grief has impacted their job performance, their spiritual lives, and their relationships with their wives and others.  Some of these men lost sons, and some lost daughters.  Their children's ages ranged from 5 years old to 38 years old. Three went to Heaven after battling cancer, three young men drowned, two were involved in car accidents, one was killed in action in Afghanistan, one was involved in a drug-related tragedy, and one was murdered.  

I am told that while there were certainly some tears over the course of the weekend as these dads shared their most painful experiences with each other, there was also a whole lot of laughter.  And why not?  Each of these dads had experienced a different type of loss ... but they all shared something in common ... a rock solid faith in Christ, and an assurance that they will see their dear children again one day.  And each one of these dads is committed to living well while he's waiting for that great reunion.  They understand that that is the best way to honor both their children and their Lord until that day comes.

Here are a few pictures from the weekend.  Fishing in the sparkling creek ...

Skeet shooting ...

Enjoying some good food ...

And soaking up the warmth of a good fire ...

All while remembering some great kids ...

Here's what a couple of the dads who attended had to say about the weekend ...

I had a wonderful time -- sharing with other dads who have lost their child.  Being able to hear their stories and learn how they are surviving and moving forward is very important.  This is a very important and needed resource for families walking this road.  ~Dustin's dad

Attended Dads' weekend in northwest Arkansas.  What a blessing to spend time with dads who truly understand.  ~Ryan's dad

We at While We're Waiting feel so humbled and privileged to have the opportunity to host events like this.  Will you please help us spread the word about this ministry?  We have another Dads' Weekend scheduled for October 10-12, 2014.  This one will be held at a different location in west central Arkansas ... Click here to read about one of our previous events there.  We also host weekend events for couples/singles and mini-retreats for moms.  Click here to go to our website and get more information or to register for any of these events.  You can also support us by praying for this ministry, and if you feel led to, you can help support us financially.  We do not charge for any of our retreats, and rely solely on donations to keep the ministry going.  You can make a donation on our website via Paypal ... just click here.  We are a 501(c)(3) organization, so all donations are tax-deductible.  

The WWW theme verse is Romans 8:25 -- "But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance."  We are so thankful for the hope of Heaven, and while we're waiting, we pray that we will persevere eagerly!