A Disappointing Evening

This post is #75 in a year-long series ... Through this series of posts I plan to share our family's experiences during our 17-year-old daughter's year-long battle with brain cancer, which began in February of 2008. My desire is to process through the events of that year from the perspective that a decade of time has brought ... for myself, really. But if you'd like to follow along, you're welcome to join me.

May 11, 2008

The day we'd been waiting for had finally arrived.  Yes, it was Mother's Day, but more than that, it was Carrie Underwood Concert Day!  Hannah had been a huge fan of Carrie's ever since she first walked onto the stage to audition on American Idol.  She had her picked as the winner from the very beginning of that season ... and spent two hours on the phone after every episode voting for her to make sure she was the winner.

When I first heard that Carrie was coming to Little Rock for a concert, I hesitated to buy tickets right away because I wasn't sure where Hannah was going to be in her treatment protocol.  Once I realized that the timing of the concert would coincide perfectly with the break between her initial round of treatments and the beginning of her second, I bought three tickets, and the planning for our girls' trip commenced.

Hannah had not felt well for several days leading up to this date.  She'd missed a few days of school and had not been well enough to participate in her choir's Alice In Wonderland performance.  As much as she loved Carrie Underwood and was looking forward to this concert, though, I just knew she was going to be ready to go.

But once again, she woke up that morning not feeling well.  We stayed home from church so she could get as much rest as possible, hoping she could build up some stamina for the concert that evening.  Mid-afternoon found her still lying on the couch, too lethargic to even sit up for long.  Clearly she would not be able to attend the concert.  In fact, she didn't even want to go to the concert.  She assured us that she didn't mind if Bethany and I went without her ... but that wasn't even a consideration.  Neither Bethany nor I had any desire to go if Hannah wasn't going with us.

So while Carrie Underwood rocked Verizon Arena, we spent a quiet Mother's Day evening at home.  My heart was heavy with the awareness of just how sick Hannah really was, even though she never really let it show.  I couldn't have known then ... nor would I have wanted to know ... that that would be our last Mother's Day together.

Our regular weekly appointment at the Children's Hospital Hem/Onc clinic was scheduled for the next day, and I couldn't wait to get there and find out just what was going on with our girl.